Gimme a little intro there, Gomer...
And so began my all-time favorite Disneyland attraction of all time. As a gangly bear with a insufferable swarm of bees began to lightly play the piano, my little kiddie eyeballs were greeted by the first family band I would experience:
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| I do not own this image, but boy howdy it brings back memories! |
Of course, only diehard fans would know I'm obviously talking about the Stoneman Family, who provided various voices, music, and song for this legendary Disneyland attraction. Of course, a few Disney favorites were also included as voices (Thurl Ravenscroft anyone?) and there was a cameo voice of Tex Ritter (Big Al anyone?), but that's beside the point here. Still a family band.
There was something just so down-home charming about seeing the family of bears awkwardly assembled on stage, with their sprawling, fumbling, stage presence, and honest, diamond-in-the-rough talent levels. But they resonated with the unity and harmony that can only come from a family. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking:
Hey Mark! They're not real! They're made-up characters in a made-up show in a People trap built by a Mouse.
First of all, how dare you ruin my childhood like this without my consent.
Second of all, I totally knew that. Totally.
But "bear" with me as I continue "bruin" up this allegorical story...
I like family bands well enough. After each show, I would confidently walk up to the bears and have a little chat with them.
"Hey you bear family!" I would greet them, pretty sure I got their band name right, "You guys and gals are really starting to sound better and make progress with your ability!"
Of course, I'm certain that they were glad of my input. After all, I rode "It's a Small World" almost 30 times, so I know what a good singing group sounds like. Someday, that bear family might be that good.
"Hey you know what I was thinking," as I began, I knew they were just dying to know what I was thinking, "you really should put little Baby Oscar bear on the one-string-thing and move Tennessee to one of those bass-ukes. It would really improve your timing." The bear family, of course, was painfully unaware their timing was not up to my snuff, and that it was definitely not a figment of my imagining that the lack of bass-uke meant lack of timing. But I was certain once they had assembled themselves to the line-up of my choosing, they would thank me for discovering their timing issues.
"Not that that'll do much good," I joked with however many of them were still listening, "Baby Oscar's cuteness factor is only gonna last a couple more years." Baby Oscar gave me a blank stare as he squeezed his adorable, but pathetically non-musical teddy.
"By the way, when are those Sunbonnet Trio gals gonna get married and end this attraction for good?" I chuckled as I elbowed a giant grizzly in the place in his side I can only assume his ribs were. Bears are really big and blubbery and its hard to find their ribs. "We all know family bands never last." They looked pleased I said that to their faces.
We had such a great time talking, I'm almost certain I saw Big Al wipe a tear from his eye.
I walked away, in hindsight, I should've been very thankful that bears have very thick skin. Because, it's cold in that music hall and I'd feel bad if they were shivering so much that they played all of their songs too fast!
