The End of Another Year! Beginning of a New!

Hello, New Year, staring me down like a hungry lion staring at all the people walking by his cage at the zoo. If 2018 couldn't flatten me, I know you jolly well can't either.

This year has been full of fullness. A lot of ups, downs, and sidewayses occurred. That's life!

I got to spend Christmas up in the northern parts of California/southern parts of Oregon where it's cold, snowy, and Christmassy. It was a great time to reflect on the centerpiece of all Christianity: Christ's Birth...the free gift to mankind of reconciliation between God and sinners.

2018 has no doubt been a year to remember. I landed a great internship and later, a great job. I almost lost someone very dear to me, but was granted more time--time which I have not since taken for granted! I have laughed heartily, cried solemnly, sang wholeheartedly, wrote thoughtfully, grew slowly, adventured excitedly, prayed fearfully, and verbed so adverbily that it makes this paragraph a little tedious to proofread, so I hope its all correct.

My band got to travel some more this year; that's something I will NEVER EVER grow tired of doing and will always hunger for more. I never take it for granted that people forget about bands all the time, musicians fade into oblivion very quickly, but 2018 marked the 11TH YEAR that my siblings and I have stood side-by-side making music for crowds large and small across America. Thank you, Lord!

This past year does come with a few regrets, though. There exists a couple small projects which I could not finish, friends with whom I've lost contact, and goals which I've not met. Being one who has never enjoyed failure, detested it even, these things always sting where it hurts most.

It has well been said, "If you wish to move forward and are not looking where you are going, you are moonwalking", which I think might be a Michael Jackson quote, or perhaps Boris Yeltsin. I get the two mixed up, but whichever one said it, they sure were right! While moonwalking into the New Year would sure be a lot of fun, it's important to watch where you're going lest you accidentally trip over somebody and cause minor injuries (and who would want to chalk up THAT regret so fresh in the New Year?).

Another great Boris Jackson quote is "You can either learn from the past, or run from it," and that's for SURE something you will want to carry into this coming year, whether or not you've even seen any of Michael Yeltsin's movies.

I see a lot of complaints about the outgoing year each time December 31st comes around. It kinda saddens me. An outgoing year is rich with lessons learnt, memories treasured, and by definition, nouns verbed in the past tense so much, you can carry all the value with you into the coming year to help you towards the better you you've always wanted to be.

So here's to our coming year. We don't know what it holds yet, and that's admittedly exciting and terrifying simultaneously. This is your call to rise up like the warrior you are and charge forward.

Philippians 3
13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Roasting Jaron: Clapback time

Remember that Chick-Fil-A guy? You know, the one who faked his own graduation?

Great guy. He's homeschooled, definitely one of my people.


However, he made this recent post on his Instagram page. Check this out:

To be honest, I've not had very much to be outraged about this holiday season since I've never much cared for "Baby, It's Cold Outside" in the first place, so if I work really hard, I can find it in my warm and jovial heart to muster up enough outrage to strike back.

Ok, Mr. Myers. Ok. Let's just settle the score here.

You might work with deliciously-crispy-fried chicken sandwiches, but it's about time YOU were roasted. 

There are FOUR major issues with your post:

1. As a homeschooler, you of all people should remember to put a period after your sentences.

Did you drop out of Grammar 101 too? Ohhhh you just got served, my pleasure.

2. If "our @ 'as' the words"? Is that part of the dialect where you come from?

3. As a homeschooler, you of all people should know that ALL universal statements are false, including this one.

Just because I have to specify that, among all the other Mark Wimberleys in the world, I'm "THE" real one, does not make me a second-class citizen. It just makes me a citizen with a name more common than I anticipated for marketing purposes.

4. This is big talk coming from a guy who didn't have an "OFFICIAL" graduation.

 Since you invested all of $38 on a college education, why can't you spend a little money on that "e" that Meyers has been missing?

I challenge you to a competition, Mr. Jaron Myers. Let's see who has the most name recognition: The Real Mark Wimberley, or just plain ole Jaron Myers. The loser must post to Instagram, displaying the merch of the other.

BRANG IT, CHICKEN MAN!

Why I'm not hosting the Oscars This Year

For the tens and maybe ones of people still paying attention, you may have noticed that there has been a lot of speculation as to who was hosting the very non-prestigious Oscar Awards this year. Then, after careful consideration, comedian Kevin Hart was selected...

...but then some people who had a lot of time on their hands decided that he wasn't "right" for the job. So he's out 48 hours after he was hired.

So now all eyes turn toward the only one left on planet earth who's funny, talented, extremely well-known, good-looking, and has never Tweeted anything embarrassing ever in his entire life: The Real Mark Wimberley.

But alas, as obviously qualified as I am for such a job, I must announce that I, too cannot host this year. It comes as great sadness to the remaining viewers of the Oscars, but I cannot change one simple fact:

I cannot host the Oscars because my invitation was lost in the mail.

I know, what's a feller to do? I don't fault the post office, really. They have so much on their plate right now, what with the Christmas online shopping season in full swing. They're probably half-mad with the crazy schedule of mis-delivering boxes and crushing breakable things. I get it, honest I do, and it's completely okay.

This year, Kevin Hart and I will be hanging out, binge-watching the Andy Griffith show and jamming out to Boyz in the Sink's live album on vinyl instead of the Oscars. We're not bitter at all, right, Kev?