So I hear tell that the Royal family over in the old Country had a recent addition to the household. That's sweet. They named it, as they usually do, after notable past and historical members of royalty so as to carry on those illustrious names and legacies for generations to come.
Why don't bluegrassers do that? Or do they?
I guess it's about time to start. I have here a by-no-means-exhaustive list of some "bluegrass royalty" names and what they mean for your child.
Son--
William/Bill: The highest honor to give your son is to name him after the Father of Bluegrass himself! He will be a tough, but very innovative boss. People will look up to him. (Warning: If you start calling him Willy, it may become of some concern should he meet a young girl named Pretty Polly, but that's another story)
James/Jimmy: If you had a two-dollar-bill for every bluegrass legend with the name James or Jimmy, you would have enough money to retire from bluegrass (until next month's bill comes in). This name most notably throws back to the King of Bluegrass himself. Dress your son in a red and white checkered cowboy hat.
Ralph: Your son will be looked up to as a true patriarchal figure. A strong and true leader. When he cries, it will have a Stanley Mountain Sound to it.
Carter (If twins): You could sell tickets to hear this son cry.
Tater: Your son will be a bass player and a good ol southern boy.
Daughter--
Maybelle: Your daughter will be an inspirational role model and will assume leadership positions with ease. Named after Mother Maybelle Carter, she will be highly revered in her musical endeavors.
Rhonda: It doesn't get any more royal! Naming your daughter after the queen of bluegrass is significant, because she will be successful no matter which genre of music she will play! Teach her to make Martha White biscuits at a young age.
Gloria Belle: She will be a trailblazer. A legend. A pioneer to go where no woman has gone before. Named after the famed bass player in the Sunny Mountain Boys.
Tater: Your daughter will be a bass player and a good ol southern gal.
That's about all I got for now. The above list will get your child-rearing off to a great start and help preserve the royal bluegrass heritage.
Stay tuned for "How to name your pets in the bluegrass way without being sappy".
