It's Christmas Time in the City...

...and in the country for that matter! Either way you look at it, the time has come to make the necessary arrangements for another memorable Christmas week! But obviously, even on the happiest of occasions, things go wrong. Tis the season to be non-committal, thoughtful, hospitable, and the host of a bunch of people who sometimes don't get along well. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

1. Shopping
Why is it that some people are so hard to buy for? It gets old after the third year in a row that your rich Uncle Larry opens your gift and says "Ohhh hey. Now I have two of them." Didn't you spend enough blood, sweat, and tears battling large and brainless crowds at the mall to get him one of those?

Solution: If Uncle Larry complains of getting another one of "those" again, cheerfully tell him that you like him to always be up-to-date, never be without a spare, and then tell him that his other one was worn out anyway. (Caution! This does not work if you got him a subscription to this blog. He can only have one of those.)

2. Difference in family opinions
There is a reason your cousin Lester and your nephew Bert never visit each other. They oppose the other on every count. They sit at opposite ends of the dinner table on purpose. One asks for you to pass the mashed taters, and the other mumbles about how he's always asking for handouts. One asks what you thought of Star Wars' Rouge One, and the other mumbles something harsh in Vulcan.

Solution: Don't give them anything to talk about. When asked your opinion of the election, chuckle and say "It was one for the books,"  then brag about how well your job is going (assuming you have one, but they don't need to know if you actually do). When asked if you prefer Lucasfilm productions or Tolkien's works, choke on your sweet tea and take the attention off the impending fight.

3. Incompatible Food Allergies
Since the Tofurky flopped last Thanksgiving, as it jolly well should have, you've been wracking your poor brain on what you could possibly cook that would satisfy your gluten-intolerant, vegan, non-GMO, and breatharian loved ones. You come up with nothing. Why is it that no two family members eat the same foods?

Solution: Tell everyone you've found the perfect meal for all. Leave them in intense suspense. Keep them eagerly anticipating the meal of their dreams. Right before dinnertime, set your kitchen on fire and moan that dinner is completely ruined. Let them fend for themselves and show them to your refrigerator. 

It is important to never lose sight of what you're celebrating. That in itself will make the celebration more meaningful. Hopefully, your holiday gatherings are not all as bad as I make them out to be. Not all families argue over each insignificant detail, I get it.  I was blessed with a very like-minded family: we all hated the Tofurky. Blech.

NaNoWriMo Update and Vlog again

I can hear your cries for answers. They sound something like:

"Sooooo now that November is over, what ever became of that novel you were working on? You know, the one that was going to be written in one month?"

Well I am proud to tell you that I did indeed come up with a novel in a month. However, it didn't quite make the full 50,000 words.

Nor 40,000.

Nor 30,000.

Not even 25,000.

But man, I had a good time. Here is me reveling in my completion: