Bluegrass Musician vs. Money

What a fight!  What a battle!  What courage! What nerve!  What an ending!  Oh wait!  He's up, folks!  This could be the match of the year!  He's up again with a vengeance!  Mr. Musician, the one in the blue sequin trunks, takes a serious blow as Mr. Money in the green trunks socks him in the ol' bank account.  Mr. Musician is down for the count! And a one-a and a two-a and a three-a...he's up again!  I can't believe the determination and diligence on display by Mr. Musician! He's actually fighting back after knowing that the struggle to manage Money is a never-ending saga and even a losing battle most times for people named Musician!  Here we go again, folks: Mr. Musician holding Mr. Money in a headlock--looks like a very good strategy to me, but look!  His grip is loosening!

This epic feud has been going on since the early days of the Bluegrass Musician "fighters". Always up, down, up, down, and then up again until one or the other gives in.  Ask anyone associated with a Bluegrass Musician.  I've asked, too!  My conversation went like this:

ME (sarcastically): C'mon, How many bluegrassers do you know with day jobs, huh?

GOOD LOOKING AND PERFECT FRIEND OF MINE (dead serious): Um, a lot.

ME: You're not supposed to agree with me.

Okay, so I realize this snippet of conversation doesn't prove much.  It is kind of embarrassing that  I even had a conversation like this.  I don't even know why I put it in here.  But my point is, Bluegrass music in general isn't exactly a gold mine.  The list of people who had to drop out of the business for financial issues could stretch all the way from Fort Knox, to the Denver, Colorado Mint and back in time for payday.

You may (or may not) be asking right now "Mark, WHY ON PLANET EARTH would people still play bluegrass for a living when there is no sniveling way they could ever make enough money at it?!?!?"  If that is what you were asking, my answer to you would be "You can take the soul out of bluegrass, but you can't take bluegrass out of the soul."  If that is what I answered, good luck on what it means.  Bottom line is, the art of bluegrass music is unarguably an art form many people are willing to make a sacrifice for. Even if it hurts.  That's what makes it an art worth patronizing.

Let's be honest.  I wouldn't trade my job as a bluegrass musician for all the money on earth.  But if you do have access to all the money on earth, maybe we can talk....

Well this is awkward...

You may think you're a pretty cool person.  You may not be able to remember a time when people didn't think you were cool.  Cool may even be your middle name.  Get over it.

At least once in every mortal's lifetime, an awkward moment happens.  How many of us have had the unfortunate trilemma of deciding to high-five, shake hands, or bear hug a friend?  When this occurs, there is usually a brief, but ever awkward, period of time where both of you are flailing your arms up, down, out, then up again, all the while keeping a jolly smile on your face.  Admit it. You've done this.

Have you ever had a perfectly good and intelligent conversation just up and die?  Doesn't that long, and certainly awkward, pause of silence where the conversants just say "Yup" or "Uh huh" or "Good stuff" just make you want to crawl in a hole under a rock in the barren wastelands of Arizona and not come out until you turn 172 years old? (Well maybe not; that would just be awkward)  Then somebody, usually you, has to mention the awkward silence to break the ice again. To which everybody says: "Yeah, lol." Way to be sociable, Doctor Awkward!

When you were a child, did you ever hold somebody's hand thinking it was one of your parents and it turns out to be a total rank stranger?  Yeah, aaawkwarrrrrd!

How about calling someone by the wrong name, to their face, more than once in a sitting?  This is one that not all are guilty of, but once it happens nobody forgets.  And why should they? It was awkward.  In an awkward kind of way.

I won't even mention the "Reply All" vs. "Reply" button on your email.  Let's not bring up THAT painful little incident.

But awkward is funny!  This is why we laugh at awkwardness (once we recover from it).  This is why you probably cringed reading some--if not all--of these scenarios.  Whole TV shows are centered around awkward people doing awkward things in an awkward way.  Books are written yearly to instruct awkward people how to not be like themselves by "being themselves" (figure that one out).  You can find awkwardness all around if you look for it! For example, if I were to end this blog post suddenly.

I misremember too!

Certain newscasters know that to be trusted, one must always tell the truth.  I will not use this space to ridicule, mock, insult, embarrass, or name-call anyone...except me.

We have all had that moment where we desire to bend the truth a wee little bitty bit to make ourselves sound not as idiotic as we think we are.  Really its only for our own egos that we do it.  For example:

"Yeah Big Mon said to me he says: 'Son, you might be the finest picker in bluegrass!' He said that right to me!"

While immediately people will be impressed because it is known far and wide that "Big Mon" was Bill Monroe's nick name, YOU know that you were only talking about your co-worker's janitor who went by Montana Joe and knew nothing about bluegrass nor have the prefix "Big" in front of his nick name.  They can't blame you.  You "misremembered" that the Father of Bluegrass also went by that name.  Lucky coincidence.
Or how about this one:

"I must've been on that swamp for three hours before I finally got a bite.  You talk about a fight, son!  I said to Bubba 'I done landed me a gator!' and Bubba said 'That ain't no gator that's a shark!' I commenced to reeling in the most gigantic silver carp you ever saw!  We must've eaten off of it for ten years!"

This is one commonly told both by you and Bubba because both of you "misremembered" which one of you reeled in that 3-pound-catfish that Bubba said was a carp.  You also only ate off of it for 2 days (Eat it the first day, throw the scraps out for the raccoons the next day).

It's so easy to do.  We all tend to do it the slightest.  However, it is still considered lying. Lying is lying.  I never have approved of lying and I certainly would call someone out if they are lying.  I would tell them to knock it off and don't let it happen again! In fact, that's what was telling my old pal Barack when I was visiting him and Joe last week if I misremember correctly...