The End of Another Year! Beginning of a New!

Hello, New Year, staring me down like a hungry lion staring at all the people walking by his cage at the zoo. If 2018 couldn't flatten me, I know you jolly well can't either.

This year has been full of fullness. A lot of ups, downs, and sidewayses occurred. That's life!

I got to spend Christmas up in the northern parts of California/southern parts of Oregon where it's cold, snowy, and Christmassy. It was a great time to reflect on the centerpiece of all Christianity: Christ's Birth...the free gift to mankind of reconciliation between God and sinners.

2018 has no doubt been a year to remember. I landed a great internship and later, a great job. I almost lost someone very dear to me, but was granted more time--time which I have not since taken for granted! I have laughed heartily, cried solemnly, sang wholeheartedly, wrote thoughtfully, grew slowly, adventured excitedly, prayed fearfully, and verbed so adverbily that it makes this paragraph a little tedious to proofread, so I hope its all correct.

My band got to travel some more this year; that's something I will NEVER EVER grow tired of doing and will always hunger for more. I never take it for granted that people forget about bands all the time, musicians fade into oblivion very quickly, but 2018 marked the 11TH YEAR that my siblings and I have stood side-by-side making music for crowds large and small across America. Thank you, Lord!

This past year does come with a few regrets, though. There exists a couple small projects which I could not finish, friends with whom I've lost contact, and goals which I've not met. Being one who has never enjoyed failure, detested it even, these things always sting where it hurts most.

It has well been said, "If you wish to move forward and are not looking where you are going, you are moonwalking", which I think might be a Michael Jackson quote, or perhaps Boris Yeltsin. I get the two mixed up, but whichever one said it, they sure were right! While moonwalking into the New Year would sure be a lot of fun, it's important to watch where you're going lest you accidentally trip over somebody and cause minor injuries (and who would want to chalk up THAT regret so fresh in the New Year?).

Another great Boris Jackson quote is "You can either learn from the past, or run from it," and that's for SURE something you will want to carry into this coming year, whether or not you've even seen any of Michael Yeltsin's movies.

I see a lot of complaints about the outgoing year each time December 31st comes around. It kinda saddens me. An outgoing year is rich with lessons learnt, memories treasured, and by definition, nouns verbed in the past tense so much, you can carry all the value with you into the coming year to help you towards the better you you've always wanted to be.

So here's to our coming year. We don't know what it holds yet, and that's admittedly exciting and terrifying simultaneously. This is your call to rise up like the warrior you are and charge forward.

Philippians 3
13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Roasting Jaron: Clapback time

Remember that Chick-Fil-A guy? You know, the one who faked his own graduation?

Great guy. He's homeschooled, definitely one of my people.


However, he made this recent post on his Instagram page. Check this out:

To be honest, I've not had very much to be outraged about this holiday season since I've never much cared for "Baby, It's Cold Outside" in the first place, so if I work really hard, I can find it in my warm and jovial heart to muster up enough outrage to strike back.

Ok, Mr. Myers. Ok. Let's just settle the score here.

You might work with deliciously-crispy-fried chicken sandwiches, but it's about time YOU were roasted. 

There are FOUR major issues with your post:

1. As a homeschooler, you of all people should remember to put a period after your sentences.

Did you drop out of Grammar 101 too? Ohhhh you just got served, my pleasure.

2. If "our @ 'as' the words"? Is that part of the dialect where you come from?

3. As a homeschooler, you of all people should know that ALL universal statements are false, including this one.

Just because I have to specify that, among all the other Mark Wimberleys in the world, I'm "THE" real one, does not make me a second-class citizen. It just makes me a citizen with a name more common than I anticipated for marketing purposes.

4. This is big talk coming from a guy who didn't have an "OFFICIAL" graduation.

 Since you invested all of $38 on a college education, why can't you spend a little money on that "e" that Meyers has been missing?

I challenge you to a competition, Mr. Jaron Myers. Let's see who has the most name recognition: The Real Mark Wimberley, or just plain ole Jaron Myers. The loser must post to Instagram, displaying the merch of the other.

BRANG IT, CHICKEN MAN!

Why I'm not hosting the Oscars This Year

For the tens and maybe ones of people still paying attention, you may have noticed that there has been a lot of speculation as to who was hosting the very non-prestigious Oscar Awards this year. Then, after careful consideration, comedian Kevin Hart was selected...

...but then some people who had a lot of time on their hands decided that he wasn't "right" for the job. So he's out 48 hours after he was hired.

So now all eyes turn toward the only one left on planet earth who's funny, talented, extremely well-known, good-looking, and has never Tweeted anything embarrassing ever in his entire life: The Real Mark Wimberley.

But alas, as obviously qualified as I am for such a job, I must announce that I, too cannot host this year. It comes as great sadness to the remaining viewers of the Oscars, but I cannot change one simple fact:

I cannot host the Oscars because my invitation was lost in the mail.

I know, what's a feller to do? I don't fault the post office, really. They have so much on their plate right now, what with the Christmas online shopping season in full swing. They're probably half-mad with the crazy schedule of mis-delivering boxes and crushing breakable things. I get it, honest I do, and it's completely okay.

This year, Kevin Hart and I will be hanging out, binge-watching the Andy Griffith show and jamming out to Boyz in the Sink's live album on vinyl instead of the Oscars. We're not bitter at all, right, Kev?

Answering the Age-Old-Question: Thanksgiving Edition

Ok, this has been all over the internet...have you seen it?

"Heyy Mommy, how long do I have to put a 49 lb. Turkey in the microwave before its ready?"
"Oh bless your heart sweetie, I would just order a pizza if I were as dumb as you"

I realize the exact responses from mothers varied greatly over the country. I asked my mother and her answer was simply:

"30 mins should be good. Is there a turkey button on your microwave? Try that if so. You have socks in the dryer. Love you."

But let's put some science in your Thanksgiving prep. The exact time it would take for your turkey to be done in the microwave might surprise you!

Protein molecules are wrapped up in raw meat in tight little coils called "bonds". Think of this like steel-wound guitar strings, except these probably would never keep their tune because they're really small.

When you turn on your microwave, you are forcing this meat to heat up. When heated, molecules move faster than Jim Mills' fingers on a Skaggs instrumental and this causes the strings to break. I mean the bonds, not the strings. There are no strings in this science lesson, it was just an illustration.

When these bonds break, the protein unwinds and coagulates. Coagulation is a fancy science-people term for going from liquid to thicker than liquid. Like gravy, think gravy, because gravy is coagulated too I'm told.

This said, you need to put your turkey in the microwave long enough to see the molecules denature. Depending on the size of the turkey, coagulation can begin either from the time you put it in, to the time you take it out.

Or, just push the turkey button on your microwave and watch it spin around. That's probably what I'll do.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

The Quality of Mercy is Not Strained, It's Filtered...

...and percolated and brewed into a cup of pure joy. Or maybe I'm thinking of coffee. That's way more likely because I'm ALWAYS thinking of coffee.

Today was no different.

It was lunch break time at work and I had an errand to run which required me to go a brief distance from the office. Since both of my legs are quite operational and since my hover board is in the laundry, I walked the whole way. To keep a long story a little less long, the warm sunshine and brisk physical exertion made me hankering for a cool drink.

The line to get into Starbucks was longer than my list of excuses for being there, so I went back to the office where I had previously spied a vending machine with a cold bottle of Dunkin' Donuts mocha coffee in the employees lounge.

The whole half mile back to the office was occupied with my thoughts of having a refreshing, smooth, rich, bottle of cold coffee.  I won't lie, I was smiling and whistling as I walked with high spirits knowing that bottle was waiting for me, safe in the loving care of a cold, noisy, Coca-Cola vending machine.

I finally arrived, sweating, whistling, and digging for some spare coinage.

Never have I felt so betrayed in my long history of short-term memories. That Coca-Cola machine held my precious coffee hostage for an extra dollar. "This is strange, Mark," I thought to myself (because I refer to myself by my given name, Mark, when I think to myself), "only yesterday you got a cold, lemon sweet tea for two dollars, but it isn't dispensing anything yet."

So in went a third dollar, followed by a repeat performance of pushing the button combo.

Now, the machine roared to life. But in a tease, the robotic arm stopped just short of the solitary bottle of bottled joy, and snatched up a tall can of Monster energy.

I'm usually a fairly strong-minded man. A man of even keel and cool temper, they say of me. But I'm pretty sure even the Queen of England heard me yell "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" as if Darth Vader just told me he was my father.

There went three dollars. For a can of caffeine that I didn't want. I wandered back to my desk, dejected.

If you do a Google search on me, you might find out that I was pretty good at negotiating in college. Or, you might not find that out from a Google search, so here's the link to proof.

I thought to myself, "Mark," of course, by now you know why I prefaced it with that, "you're a negotiator. Negotiate something!" So after a heated argument with the president of the factory who builds the vending-machine-robot-arms and coming up empty-handed, I asked a couple of my close workmates. "Hey, Alex," I said to the one named Alex, "do you like Monster energy drinks?"

"No," said the one named Alex.

"Hey, Steph," I said to the one named Steph, "do you like Monster energy drinks?"

At this point, I felt like my future as a Monster energy drink salesman was really off to a great start.

"No," said the one named Steph.

"DON'T DRINK THOSE, THEY'RE BAD FOR YOU!" the VP of my department called from her office, effectively ending my career as a Monster energy drink salesman.

So back to the lounge I went to find the vending machine number to see about a refund.

"Hey you three random people sitting in this lounge," I said to the three random people sitting in that lounge, "does anybody here like Monster energy drinks?"

"I do," said one random girl.

"We don't," said the other two random girls.

"Why, what's wrong with it?" said the first random girl (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ASK EVERY TIME A STRANGER OFFERS YOU FOOD OR BEVERAGES, FOR ALL YOU CHILDREN READING AT HOME!)

"Nothing," I said. I relayed the previous 23 paragraphs to her in an infinitely fewer word count so as not to bore her.

"If you can get the vending machine to dispense that cold, Dunkin Donuts coffee, I will give you this Monster energy drink," I said as if I was a contestant on Shark Tank.

"Okay," she agreed with almost no resistance. Our complex bartering/trading contract was verbally sealed with a polite "thank you", and I returned to my desk, leaving her with her favorite energy drink (the name of escapes me at the moment).

A few minutes later, she appeared at my desk with my prized coffee. To her, it was probably as simple as putting money in a vending machine and pushing buttons, but to me, it was as if she won that frustrating little arcade game with the claw.

I did it. I successfully negotiated a trade deal with a stranger and didn't lose my house, my birthright, or my coffee. I haven't even read The Art of the Deal!

"Nobody back home would believe you, Mark," thought I to me. So I had to deliver to you, my faithful (and at this point probably exhausted) readers, proof that 99.44% of this story is true.

Meet Gabby (far right), the other negotiator who won an entire Monster energy drink (not pictured) just for buying a small bottle of coffee (center). I'm (left) so generous like that.

And that is the story of how my afternoon was saved.

I bid Gabby farewell after cautioning her about the terrible health effects of Monster energy drinks (you know, like the Surgeon General does with cigarettes), but thanked her profusely for going the extra mile. I mean, she probably just wanted the Monster energy drink and cared not for my taste bud's well-being. But we made the best deal, perhaps in the history of deals.

Thanks again, Gabby. Salute!

Tales from the Trail: the DELICIOUS summer of 2018!

I had every single intention of writing here from the road. Every intention. However, I couldn't. Please don't kill me.

If you keep up at all with me at all, you know that every summer I get to travel with the Wimberley Bluegrass Band. I sincerely love traveling and playing music. I can think of very very very few things I like doing more! Even 'eating ice cream' and 'breathing' doesn't top it on my list!

While we didn't experience any micro-tornadoes like we did a couple years ago (Check out The Story of the Day I Almost Died), we did survive tremendous wind at the top of Palo Duro Canyon. I honestly thought it was just gonna be a fierce storm, but seeing two large storms closing in from opposite directions on my radar clued me in that things were gonna be a little different. I was standing outside during the large blasts of shrill, North Texas wind. It was very hard to stand up and Texas dirt is hard to chew so I took as much cover as one could behind a quivering, swaying and rocking RV.  With my Dad's brilliant idea to turn the RV so it's back was to the wind (as there was no way to leave since the two storm cells left us no way out), we kept the RV from rolling down the side of the canyon where no one would ever find us again. The wind started at 10:00pm and lasted until 6:00am the next morning, accompanied by almost constant lightning and occasional spurts of heavy rain. Needless to say, we got little sleep that night, but who wants to sleep when there's a lightning show on?

Of course, we ate our fill in Whataburger and Cracker Barrel every chance we could. We also got to enjoy the pleasure that is Texas BBQ.  If you've never been to Riverport in Jefferson and had their brisket, then I weep for you. And by weep, I mean I'm flat-out ugly crying that you've not had the joy of putting juicy, flavorful, melt-in-your-mouth, Momma-said-we-can-have-candy-for-dinner, brisket from Riverport. 

Then there was the catfish that was catered after our First Baptist Church of Jefferson appearance. I have no shame in telling you that I downed at least six fillets and didn't regret a single one. If I didn't need to sing again a few hours later, I would've had more and fallen into a catfish-coma for the remainder of the month.

I swear there was bluegrass music involved in our tour. It wasn't JUST about the delicious food.

Then it was off to Hollywood where my upright bass got to make its grand return under the stage lights. Naturally, it is always a tremendous joy to pick with the incredible Dennis Agajanian. I really gotta hand it to Lemur Music. They brought that instrument back to life. There were great sandwiches here.

Then it was to Anaheim for a Wimberley Bluegrass Band concert at the Living Tradition. We unleashed a brand new show that night and it was received pretty well. They also had cookies.

Then it was five nights at the OC Fair. Not only is this a summertime tradition for the band going on 9 years strong, I drank so much Dr. Pepper, I should get a PhD....or at least a sponsorship? Hey Dr. Pepper, write me!

And the summer fun doesn't end there! I get to hang around Old Town Orange a lot in the coming weeks and for that I'm always grateful. Here's some of our upcoming appearances.

Anyway, my summer is not yet over. I really want to send a hearty THANK YOU to everyone who has come to see us these last few months. It honestly does mean a lot to my siblings and I that you all would take the time to hang with us for a bit. There were some of you in Texas and beyond who told me you watch my vlogs and read this blog! That made my YEAR!

See you all soon (and hopefully write to you much sooner).

The Comeback!

Hey, remember this post? It is highly probable, since it's my most popular post ever. Read up on it if you forgot because I have an exciting update to make!

If you don't feel like reading all of it, let me just give you a quick version of it: Bass go boom, break apart.

Now for the update:

We consulted with many bass playing friends of ours on the probability our beautiful bass would play again. Enter Lemur Music. They were recommended to us by a host of bass players, musicians, luthiers, a magic 8 ball, and Zaboomafoo.

When I walked through the doors with the crippled remains of my once upright stage partner, I looked around and saw so many other basses with missing necks, warped bridges, and who knows what else. At least my pile of wire and wood was in good company.

From the back room came Tristan, the wonderful wizard of bass. He was more than up for the challenge, and I left the scattered remains of my bass on his table. I handed him the neck which had been severed in one swift jagged snap. I showed him the giant, splintered cracks on the front, which I'm not sure if it was my imagination or not, but they seemed longer and more severe, reaching from the top, alongside the fingerboard, and stopping just shy of the sound hole. The strings were still attached to the head, and the dangling tailpiece added to the chaos as I handed him the last piece: the bridge.

It honestly looked worse than I remembered when I pulled it from its case that day.

His job was not an easy one. Even though re-attaching a neck with a dowel was simply routine to him, repairing the cracks on its face would be impossible without taking the face completely off. He knew he could add a different bridge and he planned to keep the same set of strings on it.

But then came the wait. It was in Tristan's care for a little over a week, getting put back together. We had already been without it since August, what was one or two more weeks? Every so often, Tristan would drop a phone call, updating us on his progress. At long last, it was time for Tristan's big reveal!

Tristan reveals his handiwork, reuniting me with my ol pal, while a host of other people's basses look on.

Once again, my bass stood upright, intact, with a brand new (and adjustable) bridge, and sounding better than ever. Tristan put my ol friend back in my hands, and it was like picking up right where we left off, only this time, the bass was better than I was. The only hint as to its former state was the almost imperceptible scars on its face and neck. They're really only visible if you're standing right there in it's personal space. For injuries as severe as it had, that's basically a miracle.

You know what? I really like those scars. Not only do they give the bass personality, it serves as a reminder that even though it was severely injured, it was not irreparably broken.

Everywhere I play, I'll always see those scars, telling a really awesome story about the amazing comeback it made at the hands of Tristan from Lemur music.

First thing I did when I got home, was to pull up some of my favorite Ricky Skaggs recordings and jam away. The first was the blazing "Little Maggie" from his live album with Bruce Hornsby. Then it was "Uncle Pen" from his Don't Cheat in our Hometown album. After that, we jammed to "Highway 40 Blues" from Live in London. Then it was "Rawhide", then "Bluegrass Breakdown", then "Honey Open That Door", and on and on we went as my bass patiently waited for me to get back in the swing of things.

I am excited to get back into performing with my ol pal. For the first time since the tragic accident, the bass and I are returning to the stage on July 14th in Hollywood. It will feel so good to welcome it back!

Incidentally, I've never been in the habit of naming my instruments (because I usually forget their names), but I think it only appropriate my bass gets a permanent name. So what should I name it? Let me know!

I've Finally Made It!

I like to think of myself a humble man, raised by humble parents, in a humble home. So I mean not to brag, but I do declare that I have officially made it to the top:

An official meme account used my quote and credited me!

Yes, yes, little, insignificant, sideburns-sporting me!

What's even better, is that their post received some overwhelmingly positive comments! If you want to see for yourself, check out the Baptist Memes, The Independent Funny Baptist here!

For those who perhaps aren't of an Independent Fundamental Baptist background and maybe haven't hung around these kind of people too much, let me explain this joke: This is what I call a #ResponsibleRelationship Christian pickup line. You've heard the stale old standby: "Hey girl, I was looking though the book of Numbers and I realized I didn't have yours!" Gag. My version is the responsible one where you ask the father's permission before everything else. This pickup line has been well received by Baptists all over the internet and now, I hope that Baptist fellas all over the place can add this to their quiver of #ResponsibleRelationship pickup lines. I don't claim to be an expert in the subject matter, but I have been known to give advice on the subject in the past.


I'd like to take this moment to thank Brooke Tallent and Sam Garcia for the glorious opportunity to be an official meme star and comedian. I was just joking around and here I am, 1500+ likes and counting! I even got a couple Instagram followers out of it too! A hearty "WELCOME!" to all of y'all. Glad to have you on board.

Don't any of you worry: I will still be the same humble me I always was. This newfound fame will definitely not go to my head.

Introducing the Mark Wimberley solo tour, now booking for 2018-2019! I'm available for all large-scale celebrity meet-and-greets, concerts, and award ceremonies. Send an email to therealmarkwimberley@gmail.com and I'll send you my lengthy, but humble contract with the totally reasonable contract riders, for an always semi-affordable price! Meet the man who inspired that terribly clever meme that the founder of the Baptist Memes-Independent Funny Baptist called "A masterpiece"!

One for Mother

I just want to take this space to thank my mommy for bringing me into this world. That sure was nice of you.  It's been a blast so far!

Throughout the years, my mom taught me a lot of cool things. For example, she taught me how to use a spoon. Also, she taught me how to blow my nose. She also introduced me to a concept called "manners". Obtaining this skill was a deciding factor in letting me go in public sometimes. 

My mom has super powers too. One such power is her power to mentally multitask. She can calculate that child #1 has to be at location A at x:o'clock, while child #4 needs a ride home from visiting child #2 at location B and child #3 won't be home from location C no later than y:o'clock and therefore dinner must be ready, laundry must be folded, the national budget must be balanced, and 3 barns must be raised in 15 minutes. You think I exaggerate? Not much, I say.

She used to feed me veggies and things as a kid when I didn't want to eat them. "Just try them," she'd say. After all these years, there are very few veggies I don't like, but I still have qualms about those dried orange-cranberries. Blechhh!

She was my band's manager when we were too young to manage. She was our schoolteacher when we were homeschooled. She was our chauffeur before we knew how to drive.  She would insist that I, a fledgling college student, get some sleep during my all-night study sessions. She taught me about Jesus and shared the Gospel with me when I was a young boy.

She will never stop being mom to me and my siblings: she will always be concerned for us, she will always care for us when we're sick, she will always worry about us, she will always hold her arm in front of us when braking suddenly and she will always shower us with undying love, only the kind a mother can have for her kids. 

I might never understand that kind of love; it's unique to mothers, and it makes the world a better place. It's marked by unconditional selflessness and compassion. I'm a rich man for having experienced it.

Give your mother a hug today and tell her you love her. If you can't hug your mother, thank God that you had one, and that there are mothers out there who work tirelessly to show true love to their families. We the children of mothers, are immeasurably in debt to them.

If there's medals for mothers,

For all of the deeds they have done,

If there's medals for mothers,

Mamma, you'd win every one!

Sunday Front Porch Sitting: Victory

It's a bit chilly this fine day, but that doesn't bother me too much. Come and sit down on the porch here and grab some sweet tea. We got some time before Easter dinner.

You know, this is the day we set aside every year to celebrate something big: Christ's Resurrection.

I could use this space to complain about how commercialized the holiday has become, but even that would take our eyes from the focus of this day.

The reason we have hope beyond the grave is because of Christ's Resurrection. Our faith would be absolutely meaningless without Christ's Resurrection. Our souls would be tragically and hopelessly lost without Christ's Resurrection.

In fact, that's what it says in 1 Corinthians 15:
"Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead?
But if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen:
And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain.
Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that he raised up Christ: whom he raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not.
For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:
And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.
Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished.
If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.
But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept."

This is what it's all about. Jesus' sacrifice was the ONLY perfect sacrifice and atonement for our sins. He didn't even wait for us to say sorry first, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Christ's victory over the grave is the greatest victory ever to be won in all of humanity. We are bought with a price, paid in full, it is finished.

He is risen indeed. God bless y'all!

Don't even THINK about trying it...

I cannot tell you how many times I've had a friend tell me something like:

"One of these days I'm gonna try to start my own blog."
"I think it'd be cool to try to have a YouTube channel."
"I wanna try to grow sideburns."

It's only talk. All talk. Just talk. Yet, they've never attempted to knock any of these things off their to-do list.
Well I'm here to tell you that I've accomplished all of the above. If a guy like me can do it, then there is no reason to doubt that you shouldn't even bother trying it.

*Record screeching*

Thought this was going in a different direction? Cool.

Listen, you have that bucket list of really cool stuff you want to do. Why waste your life's ambition by accomplishing everything early? You'll have nothing else to live for!

I know a girl who wished her whole life she could travel to new and exciting places, one day she quit wishing and started traveling! Wow. What even is the purpose of her life now?

I know a small team of guys who decided that quantum physics shouldn't be scary and boring, but fun and musical. As we speak, they're developing the perfect app that will use music to get you thinking in terms of quantum! Now they're going to ruin EVERYTHING by developing the perfect app. So much for motivation!

I know a guy who wanted to learn to speak to his grandma in Italian, so he taught himself. That's actually really sweet and touching.

If you put the focus of your life on stuff you want to do, your life is gonna be complete when you do it. I might be the one to suggest you put your focus on the things you are currently doing, but hey, who am I to tell you how to live your life? You want a lifestyle blog, read the Art of Manliness.

I guess I could sum everything up in the words of that great philosopher:
"Do or do not. There is no try."
And yes, that philosopher is a glorified Muppet, but hey, out of the mouths of  babes and movie practical effects, amirite?

Sunday Front Porch Sitting: This is war

Welcome back. All this rain we've been having has left us a nice, clear Sunday afternoon.  

Recently, I was thinking about how some kids are afraid of the dark. In their defense, they aren't so much scared of darkness as they are scared of things hiding in the dark. Who knows what lurks in the shadows? There could be all kinds of evil things: clowns, monsters, unsweet tea, fractions homework, the list is endless and diabolical!

Enter the nightlight. It sheds light in the dark so we can be prepared to fight whatever evil might befall us. Fraction homework won't solve itself you know! As I always say: "It's better to die carrying a light than to die in the dark." I always say that. I really do.

You know something, we have a lot of battles in life, and most of those battles hide in dark places where we don't see them until it's too late. Fortunately, we have the Instructions on how we can overcome:

Galatians 5:16, 17

"This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would."

Yep, we got ourselves a war on our hands. Flesh against the Spirit, Spirit against the flesh, this could go on our whole life! Actually, it probably will. Someday, we'll have a glorified body with non-fighting flesh. But that's another subject for another Sunday. 

In Psalm 119:110, it says "The wicked have laid a snare for me: yet I erred not from thy precepts." There's snares in the road, y'all. Just waiting to catch us. But you know why we don't have to be afraid of the snares? Psalm 119:105 says "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."

Aren't you glad we have God's word to be a light unto our path? We don't have to be afraid of what's hiding in the dark at all. 

Well, maybe except for fraction homework. Why did that never come easily?!?!

Alright. I guess we'll go in for supper now. Happy Sunday!

Sunday Front Porch Sitting: Gideon and the Midianites

C'mon and sit down. We got some time before supper is ready.

You know, I've been thinking about how sometimes, we can fret over huge problems. Those are the times we always forget that those huge problems aren't huge at all to God.

Take Gideon for example. The Midianites had taken over and made all his fellow Israelites miserable. Here's what's so great about this story: God could've said 'Yo, Gideon, step aside and let me level the Midianite camp for ya.' But instead, the conversation went a little more like:

"And the Lord looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?
And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house.
And the Lord said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man." (Judges 6:14-16)

Defeating an entire army who defeated your own country is a little on the daunting side. But you probably remember the part of the story where Gideon asked for a sign and put fleece on the ground and if it was wet and the ground dry the next morning he'd know it was of God, etc. etc. Well let's move past that, because Gideon gathers himself a large number of people to be his army. Logical right?

"And the Lord said unto Gideon, The people that are with thee are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel vaunt themselves against me, saying, Mine own hand hath saved me." (7:2)

We're about to learn a huge lesson from God Almighty. Gideon has with him now only 300 men and he splits them into three groups. He yells, he breaks pots, he lights torches, and the Midianites get scared and started killing each other, then Gideon and his men chase the rest out.

Seriously, read Judges chapter 6 and 7. You'll quickly learn that being outnumbered means nothing if you are on God's side.

Well I suppose it's time to head on in for supper. Happy Sunday!

The Big Game

As a friend of mine so aptly put it: "I'm rooting for the commercials."

Don't think I don't know what's going on. The Super Bowl ain't a sporting event. It's just a plot to get us to watch super expensive commercials. A marketing scheme of sorts with periodic breaks for football watching. 

And you know what? It works. And it's awesome....most of the time.

We can all appreciate the golden voice of Morgan Freeman rapping, and I think we all caught that trailer for the Solo movie (unless you're a trekkie, then you probably don't even know who Solo is). But there was this little segment that confused me. Now, I might have been hallucinating from all the cherry Dr. Pepper I'd been drinking, but I almost think I saw Eli Manning and Odell Beckham Jr. dancing together.....naw. That'd never air on TV.  Must've just been a Dr. Pepper coma.

Also, I'm sorry that I saw Danny DeVito floating in the vat of chocolate. I really can't pinpoint what was so disturbing, but excuse me while I gouge my eyes out with a spork. I gotta admit though, it wasn't as bad as last year's Puppy Monkey Baby...which no amount of bleach will remove from my memory. Believe me, I've tried.

It was a nice treat to see Jeff Goldblum return to the Super Bowl commercials. Even though he was without a piano this time, there was a glamorous cameo of Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex, the star of the last umpteen Jurassic Park movies. You know what, he hasn't aged a day. Now that I think of it, neither has Jeff.

Did I see there was an Avengers movie coming soon? No wait, I think I'm getting mixed up with Crocodile Dundee. Yeah, it's definitely the Aussie movie I'm thinking of. I might watch it if Chris Pratt is in it as a marathon runner.

Well, I'll go ahead and admit it: I've always kinda thought Tom Brady was a cool guy, so the outcome of the minuscule football segment of the show wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. This said, I'll wish the Eagles a hearty congratulations on their Super Bowl win. And by Eagles, I do mean the football team and not the band that Vince Gill is singing with these days. Common misconception. When there's that much scoring, and the fourth quarter starts as anybody's game, you know the players are good.

Well, I guess that's it for this week's blog. Except this isn't technically a blog so much as it is a Tide Commercial.

Sunday Front Porch Sitting: Jesus' Promise--He Won't Forsake You!

It's another sleepy Sunday afternoon. Now that preaching is done, we might as well sit on the porch and sit a spell until supper is ready.

You know, there's these two people the Bible tells us about who reached out to Jesus at the same time, but we usually tell about them as two separate stories. I'm of course, talking about Jairus' dying daughter, and the woman with the issue of blood. While separately, both circumstances can teach us a lot, I believe there's a reason God told us about both at the same time. Let's look at Jairus.

"And, behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue: and he fell down at Jesus' feet, and besought him that he would come into his house:
For he had one only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she lay a dying. But as he went the people thronged him." (Luke 8:41,42)

Think about that feeling of urgency. One's only 12-year old daughter on her deathbed. If you were Jairus, you would be ushering Jesus away faster than you've ever moved in your life. Then, when Jairus felt like time was already running out, Jesus was swarmed by a crowd of people!

Enter the woman. She'd been suffering for twelve years, spent every last bit of her money on doctors, and still couldn't be healed. You know the story: she knew if she could touch Jesus' garment, she'd be healed and sure enough, she was!

Now here's the part that always gets me. Jesus stops and turns around to ask who touched him. He's on His way to perform another miracle. But He stopped.Even the disciples were a little confused.

 "And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?
And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me." (vs 45, 46)

Jairus probably lost his mind at that point. I say 'probably' only because the Bible never tells us what Jairus was doing during all this. But we know he didn't go anywhere. He had to have been standing there when Jesus turned around to the crowd, asked who touched Him, received no answer, asked again, and healed the woman. And now, the first four words of verse 49: "While yet he spake". The worst news a father could ever hear came during this hullabaloo. His daughter had died.

"But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole." (vs 50). Again, Jesus was right there. He hadn't gone anywhere, either. Best of all, He had no plans to abandon Jairus' seemingly hopeless situation.

You've probably heard the end of the story. Jesus raised Jairus' daughter from the dead. All-in-all a happy ending right there. As for you and me, I think a good take-away is that we can count on the fact that when we feel Jesus is tarrying, we can rest assured He'll never leave us without hope. We know for a fact...He didn't just say it, He showed it!

Well, I can hear momma calling us in to help set the table. Supper will be ready soon. Happy Sunday, friends! 

Happy Birthday....

...to your favorite blog by your decidedly favorite member of the Wimberley Bluegrass Band.

It was three years ago on this day that I up and started typing away. Together, you and I embarked into the unknown as we shared our thoughts, laughed, sang, and tromped through life's grand adventure.

This is the part where you say "Mark, I don't remember any of that." Well, trust me, you were there.

And I was right here: at the dining room table where I draft a lot of these blogs. Three years ago on this day, I was studying Calculus. Right now, I'm not even pretending to study Calculus. Funny how some habits are sooooo easy to break like that.

Well, here's to many more years. Thanks for the memories, the music, the magic, and sticking around and following the Life of a Bluegrass Musician. (Which if you haven't figured it out yet, that's me.)

Sunday Front Porch Sitting: The Reason to Rejoice

I wanted to try and add this new series to my blog. I figure on talking a little bit about the Bible every other Sunday after church. I know you're on a computer or smart-device, but pretend that we're sitting on the front porch after preaching, sipping a sweet tea, waiting for supper to be ready, and just pondering what we find in the Bible.

I think it would have been a pretty cool thing to meet Jesus in person when He was walking on this earth. Thousands of people had that chance, as we see through out the gospels...sometimes the crowds who came to see Him were so thick, it was impossible to see Him through all the people!

Let's take quick notice of seventy such people who were there with Jesus in Luke 10. These seventy were asked of Jesus to go "into every city and place, whither he himself would come" (10:1).  But, Jesus told them that He would send them "as lambs among wolves", with no extra money (10:3,4)...I'll bet that made them feel at a disadvantage!

But those seventy people returned to Jesus later, rejoicing! Because they had found the power to heal the sick (10:9) and even to cast out demons (10:17)!  But then again, it wasn't THEIR power now, was it? They realized it was all through Jesus.

This would be a nice place to end the story. How cool, right? Imagine being able to make the lame walk, or the blind see through Jesus! But wait, they almost missed the point. Sure, all this was pretty new to them, and though they returned to Jesus with joy (10:17), they had missed the real reason to rejoice.  Let's read the following verses:

18 And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.
19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
20 Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.

Let me repeat that for those in the back who may have missed it. Rejoice not that the spirits are subject to you; but RATHER rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.

This is just one of many times in the Bible where Jesus shifts our focus from things temporal, to things eternal. When it comes down to it, only the eternal really matters.

Well, I can hear Momma calling us to go in and wash up. Looks like it's time for supper. Happy Sunday, friends!

New Year, Same Me

Before I begin, let me announce that I just celebrated a wonderful anniversary:

On January 5, 2008, my siblings and I performed our very first gig! We only knew a small handful of songs, but we were so excited to stand on the other side of a microphone for the first time. We will never forget Dennis Riley for inviting us to share our music at Los Rios Rancho that day ten years ago. And look where it's lead us! Since then, we've had the joy of sharing our music in 7 states (CA, NV, TX, AR, MO, TN, MS), performed more than 500 gigs, recorded five albums, appeared on a KCET special with the Chapman University Choir, had our music on the soundtrack of a hit sitcom on ABC,  hosted an award-winning radio show for two years (Ranked #1 in listenership multiple weeks. Best New Show of the Semester, Fall 2014. Outstanding Show, Oct. 2015. Highest Average Listenership of any show, Spring 2016. Show of the Semester, Spring 2016), appeared at events with Dennis Agajanian, Franklin Graham, Greg Laurie, John C. Reilly, Emi Sunshine, Russell Moore and IIIrd Tyme Out, and appeared at many bluegrass festivals. Who knows what the next 10 years will hold!

Now on to Christmas:

The difficulty level of buying gifts for people who have everything is off the charts. That is, until you realize that no one truly has "everything"! Sometimes, the stores I visit group their merchandise in very strange ways. However, I found it to be the source of some great gift-giving inspiration! Let me give you an example...

I was looking at essential oil diffusers. They were right next to the shoe aisle. I was thinking that it would be nice if you could take the essential oils with you when you're out hiking in the woods. Thus, you fix them to your shoes and call them your Di-shoe-sers. That needs to be a thing. Their slogan can be "When your feet smell, it's healthy!"

Here's another example... A lamp that was made from deer antlers. It was placed in the dark corner of a poorly lit antique shop. The bulbs were very dim, so I thought we needed more lights. Just use the entire deer and make it a chandelier. You can call it the Chande-deer. That also needs to be a thing. The slogan for this might be "From in the headlights, to the over-head lights!"

Now to the New Year:

Last year, I made the resolution to be a big dreamer and to do something that would cause me to look back on the year and be glad I did it. I'm glad that I started selling T-Shirts. Not because I like to see my name everywhere I look, but when I wear it, it gives me the motivation to keep building this blog and my YouTube channel. Thus, I'm starting the new year ready to take The Real Mark Wimberley entertainment farther than ever. Don't tell me I can't. I got a shirt with my name on it; I can do anything.

Also, I made the resolution to be a millionaire. Guess I'll roll that one over to 2018.

So now, I sense that you are begging to know what my resolutions for this year are (besides being a millionaire like I somehow failed to do last year).
1. I'm going to start being a little more consistent with posting.
2. Eat garlic bread
3. I'm going to start sharing more encouragement for my fellow Soldiers of the Cross

All this said, the official Bible passage for the year 2018 is: Psalm 27

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple.

5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

11 Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.