Gimme a little intro there, Gomer...
And so began my all-time favorite Disneyland attraction of all time. As a gangly bear with a insufferable swarm of bees began to lightly play the piano, my little kiddie eyeballs were greeted by the first family band I would experience:
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| I do not own this image, but boy howdy it brings back memories! |
Of course, only diehard fans would know I'm obviously talking about the Stoneman Family, who provided various voices, music, and song for this legendary Disneyland attraction. Of course, a few Disney favorites were also included as voices (Thurl Ravenscroft anyone?) and there was a cameo voice of Tex Ritter (Big Al anyone?), but that's beside the point here. Still a family band.
There was something just so down-home charming about seeing the family of bears awkwardly assembled on stage, with their sprawling, fumbling, stage presence, and honest, diamond-in-the-rough talent levels. But they resonated with the unity and harmony that can only come from a family. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking:
Hey Mark! They're not real! They're made-up characters in a made-up show in a People trap built by a Mouse.
First of all, how dare you ruin my childhood like this without my consent.
Second of all, I totally knew that. Totally.
But "bear" with me as I continue "bruin" up this allegorical story...
I like family bands well enough. After each show, I would confidently walk up to the bears and have a little chat with them.
"Hey you bear family!" I would greet them, pretty sure I got their band name right, "You guys and gals are really starting to sound better and make progress with your ability!"
Of course, I'm certain that they were glad of my input. After all, I rode "It's a Small World" almost 30 times, so I know what a good singing group sounds like. Someday, that bear family might be that good.
"Hey you know what I was thinking," as I began, I knew they were just dying to know what I was thinking, "you really should put little Baby Oscar bear on the one-string-thing and move Tennessee to one of those bass-ukes. It would really improve your timing." The bear family, of course, was painfully unaware their timing was not up to my snuff, and that it was definitely not a figment of my imagining that the lack of bass-uke meant lack of timing. But I was certain once they had assembled themselves to the line-up of my choosing, they would thank me for discovering their timing issues.
"Not that that'll do much good," I joked with however many of them were still listening, "Baby Oscar's cuteness factor is only gonna last a couple more years." Baby Oscar gave me a blank stare as he squeezed his adorable, but pathetically non-musical teddy.
"By the way, when are those Sunbonnet Trio gals gonna get married and end this attraction for good?" I chuckled as I elbowed a giant grizzly in the place in his side I can only assume his ribs were. Bears are really big and blubbery and its hard to find their ribs. "We all know family bands never last." They looked pleased I said that to their faces.
We had such a great time talking, I'm almost certain I saw Big Al wipe a tear from his eye.
I walked away, in hindsight, I should've been very thankful that bears have very thick skin. Because, it's cold in that music hall and I'd feel bad if they were shivering so much that they played all of their songs too fast!
In case you were wondering what in Sam Houston's mutton chops this is all about, I polled members from 6 different family bands about things that are commonly said around the record table. These families were from various places in the country, some being multi-industry award winners and nominees. What you saw above were actual quotes with any incriminating evidence redacted to protect the innocent. Namely me. I swear I'm innocent!
It's honestly more entertainment for us family groups, than anything else. For some reason, we all get a lot of the same comments and remarks. Also, it seems to only go toward family bands... at least I don't recall anything similar happening to Ralph Stanley when I used to hang around him at festivals!
But honestly, the folks who make remarks like this tend to be the biggest fans and most diehard followers of these family bands. Family bands never take people like that for granted, and the little encounters like these are what teach countless family bands across the country to come back stronger. Some of the most criticized family bands went on to be A-listers in their field! Way to dodge the haters! (enthusiastic round of applause, please)
On behalf of every family band everywhere, we want to thank you for your continued support. Thank you for all the joy and laughter and for coming to multiple shows, hoping to hear the same songs you love. Remember family bands have feelings too. We're only as human as the next family band. Hug your local family band and tell them you love them.
...cause you never know when they'll get married and split up. (Kidding, obviously. Marriage does not mean leaving a band...oh shucks, I'll save it for another post.)
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