Thursday, June 21, 2018

The Comeback!

Hey, remember this post? It is highly probable, since it's my most popular post ever. Read up on it if you forgot because I have an exciting update to make!

If you don't feel like reading all of it, let me just give you a quick version of it: Bass go boom, break apart.

Now for the update:

We consulted with many bass playing friends of ours on the probability our beautiful bass would play again. Enter Lemur Music. They were recommended to us by a host of bass players, musicians, luthiers, a magic 8 ball, and Zaboomafoo.

When I walked through the doors with the crippled remains of my once upright stage partner, I looked around and saw so many other basses with missing necks, warped bridges, and who knows what else. At least my pile of wire and wood was in good company.

From the back room came Tristan, the wonderful wizard of bass. He was more than up for the challenge, and I left the scattered remains of my bass on his table. I handed him the neck which had been severed in one swift jagged snap. I showed him the giant, splintered cracks on the front, which I'm not sure if it was my imagination or not, but they seemed longer and more severe, reaching from the top, alongside the fingerboard, and stopping just shy of the sound hole. The strings were still attached to the head, and the dangling tailpiece added to the chaos as I handed him the last piece: the bridge.

It honestly looked worse than I remembered when I pulled it from its case that day.


His job was not an easy one. Even though re-attaching a neck with a dowel was simply routine to him, repairing the cracks on its face would be impossible without taking the face completely off. He knew he could add a different bridge and he planned to keep the same set of strings on it.

But then came the wait. It was in Tristan's care for a little over a week, getting put back together. We had already been without it since August, what was one or two more weeks? Every so often, Tristan would drop a phone call, updating us on his progress. At long last, it was time for Tristan's big reveal!



Tristan reveals his handiwork, reuniting me with my ol pal, while a host of other people's basses look on.

Once again, my bass stood upright, intact, with a brand new (and adjustable) bridge, and sounding better than ever. Tristan put my ol friend back in my hands, and it was like picking up right where we left off, only this time, the bass was better than I was. The only hint as to its former state was the almost imperceptible scars on its face and neck. They're really only visible if you're standing right there in it's personal space. For injuries as severe as it had, that's basically a miracle.

You know what? I really like those scars. Not only do they give the bass personality, it serves as a reminder that even though it was severely injured, it was not irreparably broken.

Everywhere I play, I'll always see those scars, telling a really awesome story about the amazing comeback it made at the hands of Tristan from Lemur music.

First thing I did when I got home, was to pull up some of my favorite Ricky Skaggs recordings and jam away. The first was the blazing "Little Maggie" from his live album with Bruce Hornsby. Then it was "Uncle Pen" from his Don't Cheat in our Hometown album. After that, we jammed to "Highway 40 Blues" from Live in London. Then it was "Rawhide", then "Bluegrass Breakdown", then "Honey Open That Door", and on and on we went as my bass patiently waited for me to get back in the swing of things.

I am excited to get back into performing with my ol pal. For the first time since the tragic accident, the bass and I are returning to the stage on July 14th in Hollywood. It will feel so good to welcome it back!

Incidentally, I've never been in the habit of naming my instruments (because I usually forget their names), but I think it only appropriate my bass gets a permanent name. So what should I name it? Let me know!

Friday, May 18, 2018

I've Finally Made It!

I like to think of myself a humble man, raised by humble parents, in a humble home. So I mean not to brag, but I do declare that I have officially made it to the top:

An official meme account used my quote and credited me!

Yes, yes, little, insignificant, sideburns-sporting me!

What's even better, is that their post received some overwhelmingly positive comments! If you want to see for yourself, check out the Baptist Memes, The Independent Funny Baptist here!

For those who perhaps aren't of an Independent Fundamental Baptist background and maybe haven't hung around these kind of people too much, let me explain this joke: This is what I call a #ResponsibleRelationship Christian pickup line. You've heard the stale old standby: "Hey girl, I was looking though the book of Numbers and I realized I didn't have yours!" Gag. My version is the responsible one where you ask the father's permission before everything else. This pickup line has been well received by Baptists all over the internet and now, I hope that Baptist fellas all over the place can add this to their quiver of #ResponsibleRelationship pickup lines. I don't claim to be an expert in the subject matter, but I have been known to give advice on the subject in the past.


I'd like to take this moment to thank Brooke Tallent and Sam Garcia for the glorious opportunity to be an official meme star and comedian. I was just joking around and here I am, 1500+ likes and counting! I even got a couple Instagram followers out of it too! A hearty "WELCOME!" to all of y'all. Glad to have you on board.

Don't any of you worry: I will still be the same humble me I always was. This newfound fame will definitely not go to my head.

Introducing the Mark Wimberley solo tour, now booking for 2018-2019! I'm available for all large-scale celebrity meet-and-greets, concerts, and award ceremonies. Send an email to therealmarkwimberley@gmail.com and I'll send you my lengthy, but humble contract with the totally reasonable contract riders, for an always semi-affordable price! Meet the man who inspired that terribly clever meme that the founder of the Baptist Memes-Independent Funny Baptist called "A masterpiece"!

Sunday, May 13, 2018

One for Mother

I just want to take this space to thank my mommy for bringing me into this world. That sure was nice of you.  It's been a blast so far!

Throughout the years, my mom taught me a lot of cool things. For example, she taught me how to use a spoon. Also, she taught me how to blow my nose. She also introduced me to a concept called "manners". Obtaining this skill was a deciding factor in letting me go in public sometimes. 

My mom has super powers too. One such power is her power to mentally multitask. She can calculate that child #1 has to be at location A at x:o'clock, while child #4 needs a ride home from visiting child #2 at location B and child #3 won't be home from location C no later than y:o'clock and therefore dinner must be ready, laundry must be folded, the national budget must be balanced, and 3 barns must be raised in 15 minutes. You think I exaggerate? Not much, I say.

She used to feed me veggies and things as a kid when I didn't want to eat them. "Just try them," she'd say. After all these years, there are very few veggies I don't like, but I still have qualms about those dried orange-cranberries. Blechhh!

She was my band's manager when we were too young to manage. She was our schoolteacher when we were homeschooled. She was our chauffeur before we knew how to drive.  She would insist that I, a fledgling college student, get some sleep during my all-night study sessions. She taught me about Jesus and shared the Gospel with me when I was a young boy.

She will never stop being mom to me and my siblings: she will always be concerned for us, she will always care for us when we're sick, she will always worry about us, she will always hold her arm in front of us when braking suddenly and she will always shower us with undying love, only the kind a mother can have for her kids. 

I might never understand that kind of love; it's unique to mothers, and it makes the world a better place. It's marked by unconditional selflessness and compassion. I'm a rich man for having experienced it.


Give your mother a hug today and tell her you love her. If you can't hug your mother, thank God that you had one, and that there are mothers out there who work tirelessly to show true love to their families. We the children of mothers, are immeasurably in debt to them.





If there's medals for mothers,
For all of the deeds they have done,
If there's medals for mothers,
Mamma, you'd win every one!