We get this saying wrong a lot...

"You are what you eat", everyone tells me. They repeat it over and over with a smirk on their faces.
Thanks for calling me a bag of pork rinds and a Dr. Pepper. It makes my fragile sense of self esteem so much less that way.

But little do they know, that's not how that phrase is supposed to go. I mean, yeah, folks have been saying that since the Byzantine empire was still a thing (if you're keeping track, it's not anymore). A better way to articulate the phrase would be as follows:

You are what you consume. 

Not only did I acquire a big thesaurus recently, but I obtained a gigantic thesaurus recently. There's a reason that I changed "eat" to "consume".  You see, we as human beings are consumers of much more than food. Though my nickname of Pork Rind may be fitting to me (as is Sloppy Joe, Slim Jim, Cuban Sandwich, and Mashed Potato Casserole), I'm defined more often by what I patronize, what I'm entertained by, what I talk about, the activities I engage in, etc. 

To put it in simpler terms (to match my simpler personality), I eat food that strengthens my body. If I eat food that's very nourishing to eyesight, I will have great eyesight. If I eat food that's nourishing to my brain, that'd be a miracle. So it is with what we consume! If I'm a consumer of things that are sad, I might become a sadder person. If I'm a consumer of things that help others, I will become a very helpful person. If I'm a consumer of educational things, I'll fall asleep. 

You might think that this post is coming across as cheesy (and the fact I put too much cheese on the lunch I'm currently eating is complete coincidence and serendipity) but it's important to note that it works the opposite way. 

If I consume things that aren't productive to my growth, I won't grow. If I consume things that are unhealthy, I will be unhealthy. 

So I guess what I'm saying here, is that you should do a deep search in your life. Who are you? What are you consuming?

That's all for now, I'll go back to my Flaming Hot Italian sandwich that I coincidentally chose to eat for lunch today. And it still has too much cheese.  

When You Tell A Joke Out Loud

For those who read yesterday's post, you might be wondering if I'm already packing for my tour.

Of course, it was my annual April Fool's joke, and a very intricate one to pull off. It brings me no small joy to know I couldn't fool some of you. I have such intelligent friends! However, I am aware, I might have snookered a few others. I did everything I could to make it seem real: merch, promo poster, stellar acting abilities on my Instagram stories, etc, so don't feel bad. You're intelligent too.

I must confess that my April Fooling was not just limited to the internet. A coworker has a miniature marquee on his desk that reads:

"Design is thinking made visual. - Saul Bass"

After he left the room, I rearranged it to read:

"Sign is dead. Thin bass me visual - King Saul"

I would've done more but he was returning to his desk and I was out of time. I must admit his reaction was pretty satisfying, and until he reads this post, I don't think he knows who is responsible. But if you know him, don't tell him yet!

So I write this post to formally say "April Fools" on yesterday's post. I'm not going on tour as a solo artist this year. Thanks so much for hanging with my practical jokes!

One thing I wasn't joking about was The Real Mark Wimberley snapbacks, trucker hats, and ball caps. They're a thing now, and I'm stoked!!  Don't forget that you can get 15% off everything from April 5 through April 9 if you use the code 15APRIL19.

When You Tell Yourself a Joke

If you are anything like me, you understand that EVERYTHING has a punchline if you try hard enough and you're brave enough to cross the right lines.

Always being one for a challenge, throughout my days on YouTube and Blogger, I have accumulated a healthy list of parody and original songs that my TRMW family has suggested and prompted me to write.

Who could forget the song that teaches you to pronounce gif? Or even the song about being the third wheel on a date? Or the backwards country song about a dog and his boy? And there are so many others that I've yet to film, but have performed for y'all on social media or in small gatherings. Remember the Xtreme parody about sunburns styled like "More than Words"? Or the Billy Joel parody about food poisoning styled like "The Longest Time"?

It's kinda like telling yourself a really good joke. You just really wish others could appreciate the vast amount of effort you put into creating something so delightfully funny.

Wish no more!

I am super excited to be embarking on my very first tour as The Real Mark Wimberley. The tour, which I've named the "Grammatically Correct" tour will feature all of your favorite TRMW songs as well as a little bit of stand-up, sleight-of-hand, and maybe even a special guest or two!

I'm really stoked to see what my first tour has in store. Maybe I'll bomb. Maybe I'll win big. Maybe I'll sell some TRMW swag. It's no joke that you can get 15% off everything from April 5 through April 9 if you use the code 15APRIL19. But I digress.

I hope I can meet each of you in person this year. I am really looking forward to sharing all the jokes I tell to myself in a Grammatically Correct manner.