2019 New Years Resolution: Remember it's Not 2018 Anymore

Now comes the time of the year, when all eyes turn toward this blog. Everyone wants to know what lofty and ambitious goal The Real Mark Wimberley shall set forth for the coming year. I am happy to announce this year's short list of nominees. But first, a word about resolutions.

Resolutions get a bad rap for a lot of things. For one, they're like Beanie Babies: very few people hang on to them, and the few who do end up rich and envied. For another thing, resolutions are schismatically associated with bad, unpleasant, hard things like "wake up an hour earlier every day", or "take only cold showers", or worse yet "stop eating bacon". Just calm down, buckaroos and buckarettes. No need to go crazy.

So many hard and unpleasant days or maybe weeks are spent in January by people who believe they must feel bad in order to have a valuable resolution. You're wasting a very great month and only bringing embarrassment upon yourself when February rolls around and you have to sheepishly face your friends and family with a lame excuse as to why you are no longer "on track to meet your goal".

There's a simple problem.

You know what they say in the photography business: If the resolution is low, increase the focus!

(With the great understanding that a large multitude of my friends are professional photographers and most of them are readers of this blog, I must admit that I legitimately do not know if photographers ever say that, because that literally just fell out of my head just now. But, I'm a generous sort. You can use that if you want to and especially if it's factually correct. You don't need to send me a private message schooling me on all the finer points of cameras, photography and print, because honestly, I'd only forget everything the next day. Thank you for your cooperation.)

Aha! Focus! Now why didn't you think of that, it's as obvious as the Snapchat filters on a basic white girl's profile picture.

All I'm trying to say is this: in 2019, make your resolutions very intentionally and with a very clear goal in mind for the new year. Otherwise, you are just spinning your wheels in the mud hole of pointless social media postings. Increase your focus!

Without further adieu, my list of resolutions.

I resolve to:
1. Not write "2018" when I mean to write "2019". (So far so good)
2. Avoid uncreative and non-relatable clichés like someone you texted avoids talking to you at the grocery store because he hasn't got around to texting you back. (And what's with that guy? Pshpshpsh)
3. Eat garlic bread (Yes, please, Mark, PLEASE!)
4. Own a piece of Toledo. (No particular reason, I just think Toledo is funny, and it's fun to say, so it's a punchline for a lot of jokes.)
5. Use more parentheses in this blog (c'mon, who doesn't like them?)
6. Write a hit country song and get an A-lister to record it. (Do you know a guy? Can anyone connect me?)
7. Star in the Muppet adaptation of The Music Man. (Do you know a frog? Can anyone connect me?)
8. Become a voice actor and sing a song for a Disney animated feature. (Do you know a mouse? Can anyone connect me?)
7. Learn to count. (Someday, right?)
10. Launch The Real Mark Wimberley World Tour. (Which pointedly excludes Toledo for the aforementioned reasons)
11. Get a shorter list of resolutions.
12. Own a llama, name him Camel, let him park his cars in my suitcase, so I can say "Alpaca Camel lot" when it's time to put things in my suitcase to leave on my World Tour. (Sheesh, I'm gonna fire my writers for that one. Strike that last one from the records, please. It didn't even make sense.)
12. Hire good writers. (Do I gotta do EVERYTHING?!)
13. Become a millionaire. (Do you know a bank? Can anyone connect me?)
14. Dream big (I know, this one is a little out of my comfort zone.)
15. Get to 15 resolutions (Done)

Of course, you can guess from reading the above list I have narrowed my focus perfectly. That focus is me. It's as if the entire world revolves around me. Boy that sure feels good. Good thing I have infinite energy, unlimited resources, no bad days, and the ability to fix other people's shortcomings, because it's gonna take all that to make this list of 15 resolutions come true.

....Sure doesn't seem like I'll get much done this year now that I write that out loud.

Matthew 6 says:

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Thus, my first and foremost resolution will be to seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness. At the end of the day, owning Toledo would be a barrel of laughs, but it means nothing because one day, Toledo will whither away like everything else on this earth. THAT'S putting things in the right focus. 

Now, on to Toledo...

Please share your resolutions with me! I'd love to know what you got!

The End of Another Year! Beginning of a New!

Hello, New Year, staring me down like a hungry lion staring at all the people walking by his cage at the zoo. If 2018 couldn't flatten me, I know you jolly well can't either.

This year has been full of fullness. A lot of ups, downs, and sidewayses occurred. That's life!

I got to spend Christmas up in the northern parts of California/southern parts of Oregon where it's cold, snowy, and Christmassy. It was a great time to reflect on the centerpiece of all Christianity: Christ's Birth...the free gift to mankind of reconciliation between God and sinners.

2018 has no doubt been a year to remember. I landed a great internship and later, a great job. I almost lost someone very dear to me, but was granted more time--time which I have not since taken for granted! I have laughed heartily, cried solemnly, sang wholeheartedly, wrote thoughtfully, grew slowly, adventured excitedly, prayed fearfully, and verbed so adverbily that it makes this paragraph a little tedious to proofread, so I hope its all correct.

My band got to travel some more this year; that's something I will NEVER EVER grow tired of doing and will always hunger for more. I never take it for granted that people forget about bands all the time, musicians fade into oblivion very quickly, but 2018 marked the 11TH YEAR that my siblings and I have stood side-by-side making music for crowds large and small across America. Thank you, Lord!

This past year does come with a few regrets, though. There exists a couple small projects which I could not finish, friends with whom I've lost contact, and goals which I've not met. Being one who has never enjoyed failure, detested it even, these things always sting where it hurts most.

It has well been said, "If you wish to move forward and are not looking where you are going, you are moonwalking", which I think might be a Michael Jackson quote, or perhaps Boris Yeltsin. I get the two mixed up, but whichever one said it, they sure were right! While moonwalking into the New Year would sure be a lot of fun, it's important to watch where you're going lest you accidentally trip over somebody and cause minor injuries (and who would want to chalk up THAT regret so fresh in the New Year?).

Another great Boris Jackson quote is "You can either learn from the past, or run from it," and that's for SURE something you will want to carry into this coming year, whether or not you've even seen any of Michael Yeltsin's movies.

I see a lot of complaints about the outgoing year each time December 31st comes around. It kinda saddens me. An outgoing year is rich with lessons learnt, memories treasured, and by definition, nouns verbed in the past tense so much, you can carry all the value with you into the coming year to help you towards the better you you've always wanted to be.

So here's to our coming year. We don't know what it holds yet, and that's admittedly exciting and terrifying simultaneously. This is your call to rise up like the warrior you are and charge forward.

Philippians 3
13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Roasting Jaron: Clapback time

Remember that Chick-Fil-A guy? You know, the one who faked his own graduation?

Great guy. He's homeschooled, definitely one of my people.


However, he made this recent post on his Instagram page. Check this out:

To be honest, I've not had very much to be outraged about this holiday season since I've never much cared for "Baby, It's Cold Outside" in the first place, so if I work really hard, I can find it in my warm and jovial heart to muster up enough outrage to strike back.

Ok, Mr. Myers. Ok. Let's just settle the score here.

You might work with deliciously-crispy-fried chicken sandwiches, but it's about time YOU were roasted. 

There are FOUR major issues with your post:

1. As a homeschooler, you of all people should remember to put a period after your sentences.

Did you drop out of Grammar 101 too? Ohhhh you just got served, my pleasure.

2. If "our @ 'as' the words"? Is that part of the dialect where you come from?

3. As a homeschooler, you of all people should know that ALL universal statements are false, including this one.

Just because I have to specify that, among all the other Mark Wimberleys in the world, I'm "THE" real one, does not make me a second-class citizen. It just makes me a citizen with a name more common than I anticipated for marketing purposes.

4. This is big talk coming from a guy who didn't have an "OFFICIAL" graduation.

 Since you invested all of $38 on a college education, why can't you spend a little money on that "e" that Meyers has been missing?

I challenge you to a competition, Mr. Jaron Myers. Let's see who has the most name recognition: The Real Mark Wimberley, or just plain ole Jaron Myers. The loser must post to Instagram, displaying the merch of the other.

BRANG IT, CHICKEN MAN!