Did I Just Join A New Band??

Short answer, no. But please keep reading. I put soooo much thought into my click bait title.

I explain it much better in my YouTube video, but the day starts with a Bass, ends with two very calloused fingers, and contains a reptile, a Disney Princess, and balloon popping competitions.

It would contain all this in much more detail had the selfie stick I was using been of any use. I also explain this in the video. Technology. What would I do with it?

Now, don't worry, I am not leaving the Wimberley Bluegrass Band. Never will. But it sure was a blast playing with these fine folks! Fun times!!

April Showers Bring Not Much to Talk About

Well, April Fool's Day has passed with little fanfare. Contrary to what I may have convinced a few people of, I am not moving out of state, nor did I buy a 3 month old goat named Reginald, although now I kinda wish I had (buy the goat, I mean).

I hope your April Fool's Day was how you envisioned it to be. Taping the light switches so they won't turn on and making prank calls to your stock broker are definitely the best ways to usher in a new month.

But now it is May, and it is the time to mature and leave the childish pranks behind (until next year, of course). In case you weren't aware, summer is just around the corner! To folks from my neck of the woods, summer means 90+ degree days and an endless stream of beach pictures invading your social media feeds. This would all be well and good if the California weather didn't decide that high winds might be a nice way to switch things up after the good dousing of rain and hail from a few months ago! The folks out in the eastern half of the country have also been experience a bit of rain so I hear. Fun times!

At long last, we at Wimberley Manor have finally got our garden planted! I'm looking forward to harvest time when I can indulge in some purple hull peas, okra, bell peppers, tomatoes, and corn on the cob! Another sign of summer, and just another way we move on from the childish (but ever hilarious when non-destructive) April Fool's pranks. Just as we will be cultivating nourishing vegetables, in our lives we will be cultivating not-vegetables.

Oh, before I forget, I'm going to be participating in an event next week that will be really different for me. I'll tell you about it in a later post. Stay tuned.

But "that" time of year has come, and I hear your questions. I feel your inquisitive thoughts. "Mark," you say, "will you be doing another tour this year?" My answer is super super simple: "I really hope so, it may or may not definitely or not definitely is maybe almost possible if we can sorta almost take mostly care of a few kinda small but humongous issues that will take little to a ton of time and a Mack Truck load of resources to fix so how does next month maybe or maybe not sound?"

Ok, so actually, I have no answer. If you remember my blogs from last year, you'll know how much difficulty we had getting on the road then. It's even harder this year!  But never fear! Remember my New Years Resolution? No? (Neither did I...I had to go back and check) The long and short of it was dream big to achieve big. So I'm just going to go into the month of May with that mindset regarding a tour.  I'll let you know if anything good happens.

One last thing before I close: We don't actually call our home Wimberley Manor. I just couldn't think of a really cool name that was accurate.....besides "that house I live in".

When Dreams Come True

Today is a day that bluegrassers everywhere rejoice and cheer on their fellow pickers and singers.

The Rock Stars of Bluegrass themselves, Dailey & Vincent are being inducted into the Grand ole Opry tonight!

Those who know me understand that I have always looked up to Jamie Dailey and Darrin Vincent, even while they were still with Doyle Lawson and Ricky Skaggs respectively. Their two voices always blend perfectly along with their material, be it vintage or brand new.

Having seen them many times in concert, I have witnessed firsthand their knack for connecting with an audience and making strangers feel like old friends. When it comes to entertainers, Dailey and Vincent are the cream of the crop.

The duo gave their first performance on the Grand Ole Opry, being introduced on to the Ryman Auditorium stage by Jeannie Seely in December of 2007. Since then, they've released four albums, a DVD, two Cracker Barrel exclusive albums, performed at Carnegie Hall, hosted their own WSM radio show, hosted their own TV show, and brought their crisp and lively brand of music all over the world.

To me, it's an exciting and inspiring occasion. Ever since I first started performing, I've always held Dailey and Vincent as the model of what musical entertainment looks like. They both have achieved what I, and many other bluegrassers, work so hard to accomplish: Grand Ole Opry membership.

If you're like me, and have followed these two guys since day one, and always hoped and dreamed that someday, you'd make the Opry stage too, watch this video. Don't give up: dreams really do come true.

Congratulations, Mr. Dailey and Mr. Vincent on this wonderful occasion! Wishing you continued success.  Your dedication to country and bluegrass music is not only inspiring, but it has brought joy to so many people all over this planet. Thanks for 10 years of outstanding entertainment!

8 Perfect Bluegrass Valentine's Day Songs

If Californians aren't confused enough by the tremendous amounts of water falling from the sky, they were all but mortified a few weeks ago when little balls of ice took the water drops' place. Since I am now convinced the World is ending, I feel like there's no need for a Valentine's Day themed post...


...but you know me better than that! I have just enough time to squeeze it in while I build an Ark.


All you bluegrass lovers out there are definitely stressing out right now about finding a nice bluegrass song to sing to your significant other that doesn't include cheating behind anyone's back, poisoning a little glass of wine, loving and losing, stabbing anyone through the heart or shooting people to watch them die. A daunting task indeed, but not impossible, you'll find! Allow me to present 8 of the All-Time-Greatest bluegrass Valentines Day songs. Now let me just state that this list will only be good for people who actually have a Valentine. All of us single people can go listen to "Ain't Nobody Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone". We don't need a list.

Oh! I have a fun idea: I'll present my picks in countdown fashion! What fun.

8.  If My Nose Was Running Money - Mike Snider

Seriously, though. Did you think I would make a list like this without including this ol bluegrass classic? It made the list because the lyrics paint a picture of devotion and sacrifice which can only be described as...vivid. While wishing to have all sorts of wealth dripping from your face to give your loved one is definitely "one booger of a problem", it is more importantly a cheerful thought to know that one sneeze could mean buying a John Deere tractor and a new Mercedes. That is if their nose was running money...but it's snot. Definitely not a song for the germophobe.

7. John and Mary - IIIrd Tyme Out

I've said it before, so I'll say it again: I've said this before. Also, Russell Moore could sing an Ikea instruction manual and win a Grammy for it. That's why this song made the list: Russell's flawless and sincere delivery makes the lyrics seem so much more heartfelt and so much more, well, sincere. You gotta admit, this song explains marriage a thousand times better than "that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream, and love, true love, will follow you forever..." (and if you've never seen that movie, my entire joke went over your head and I'm sorry). Thus, the story of John and Mary made the list hands down. Also, killer mandola intro. Just saying.

6. Pretty Little Miss In the Garden - Stanley Brothers

Need we look any farther for a more adorable love story? Carter and Ralph deliver a timeless tale of a girl who loves her beau so much, that she hopes he's happy even "if he's drownded" (and I've never seen a happily drownded man before). She even goes so far as to say that if he finds someone else, she'll love the girl that marries him. That's almost grounds for a restraining order, to be honest. Of course, by the end of the song (SPOILER ALERT!!!!) she realizes this nosy guy asking all the questions is actually her beloved and then he gives her precisely three kisses. How she didn't realize this before, I don't guess I'll ever know, but as the young kids these days say at the end of their fairy-tales, they lived happily ever after. If the story don't get ya, George Shuffler's cross picking will.

5. Til the End of the World Rolls Round - Flatt and Scruggs

Obviously, a song that sets a time limit on love is usually overlooked for lists such as these, but since the sun will keep coming up and down and the big blue sky ain't coming down to the ground anytime soon, I decided this one could be the exception to the rule.

4. Storms are On The Ocean - The Three Pickers feat. Alison Krauss

This is one of those songs I've been hearing for such a long time. By the Carter Family first, and then by almost everybody else. The Three Pickers are my favorite version. This song goes hand-in-hand with the previous one on my list, because it too lists the world losing its motion as the time when the love will fail. That and if she drops it first. But regardless of that, it still represents an undying devotion that will sure make you feel all sappy and sugary on the inside. The heavens may cease to be if I should omit this song from my list.

3. Walk Through This World with Me - The Seldom Scene

Just the title alone could suffice to have its own spot on this list. But when the inimitable John Duffey sings it with the tight harmony of Seldom Scene, the whole song comes to life. So why did this song make the list? Go listen to it. Seriously. I'll wait.

2. My Heart Is Yours - Doyle Lawson and Quicksilver

It's no wonder that this song was chosen as the title track of his 1990 release. When you got a lineup like Russell Moore, Jim Mills, Ray Deaton, and Mike Hartgrove, how can anything you record go wrong? With words like "and til the end of time, my heart is yours", you couldn't expect anything more perfect to include on this list. If you're gonna choose a Valentines day bluegrass song, it'd better use phrases like "you're all I need" or "I thank the Lord up above that you're loving me, such a lucky break!" If you Google search the word "romantic", this song will automatically open in a new tab. Try it! Also, if you Google search "gullible" your picture will show up....

1. My Only Love - Dailey & Vincent

This one topped my list. A Statler Brothers original, Dailey & Vincent and the boys gave it a bluegrass spin so that it could be included in this list.  How thoughtful of them. At the opening line "You and I were meant for one another", you know this is going to be as lovey-dovey as it gets. The harmony, lyrics, and over all delivery makes this my top pick for the #1 bluegrass Valentines Day song.


There you have it!  Obviously, this list comes with the disclaimer that it is by no means exhaustive. But I think it'll get you through this holiday with flying colors. Which songs did I leave out? Comment below and let me know!

Coping without IBMA

There is no describing the joy one gets walking the town of Raleigh, NC alongside all of your bluegrass heroes. It's the most awesome feeling in the world to connect with old friends for your annual jam session. Essentially, it's Disneyland for the bluegrasser. It's what the NQC is to Southern Gospel groups.

....so I'm told.

I have yet to make it to IBMA's World of Bluegrass. Every year, I tune in to the awards show, and I stay glued to social media to watch all of the awesomeness that happens on the other side of the country.

Rest assured if you share these feelings with me that you are not alone.  Even though it seems like everybody and their brother's gerbil goes to IBMA and leaves you at home to do normal life stuff, there is a world of bluegrassers out there who are also missing the fun and frolic. 

So here's the plan: I hereby declare a festival of IBMA proportions for those who cannot attend. We shall call it...

...IBMStay which stands for International Bluegrass Music Staycation. Half the fun, twice the loneliness, for FREE! Let me tell you how it works.

Gather all of your favorite bluegrass records and play them back to back to back. When that is finished, post videos online of yourself picking your favorite tracks from these albums with the hashtag #IBMStay. If you find someone else in your friend's list chose the same song/key as you did, tag them in every single video you post until IBMStay is over. If you happen to come up with really awesome licks or figure out instrumental solos note for note, post a video online of you doing a Workshop and tag every single person you know who plays the same instrument as you. The most crucial part about making this festival work is that you MUST be alone and never make contact with anybody face-to-face.

Otherwise, you might as well had gone to Raleigh. 

Dressing for Success: A step-by-step guide (with Pictures)

As the Father of Bluegrass once told a fiddler of his: "You can't play bluegrass wearing striped britches." Other than that, we conclude, anything goes.

My band and I strive to always dress well for our shows. In fact, if there were an IBMA Award for best dressed band, I would like to think many of y'all would cast a vote for us (knowing that the Del McCoury Band and Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver would win each year anyway).

Ask any bluegrass band if there is a right way or a wrong way to dress on stage and they will give you unintelligible answers. No one could mistake the Kentucky Derby look of the early Bluegrass Boys, then the string ties and hats of Flatt and Scruggs. But then along came a checkered cowboy hat from Jimmy Martin, followed by who-knows-what from the inimitable John Duffey.

Like this.

It's okay. I hear your cries for answers. To sum up the bluegrass cut of clothes as best as possible, we require a formally casual country themed business attire, where bolo ties and boots didn't die with the 90s.  Hats and mullets optional.

Let's break this down.

The above example is only okay in two situations. One: if you're starting a Southern Gospel group, and two: if you're going for the look of this classic album cover from 1999:

Notice how the camo hat in the first picture really makes his head look like it's not there. That's what camo does. Notice in the second picture, they look like they actually know what they are doing (unlike in the first picture).

Speaking of hats, let's talk about that.

The first bluegrass band never went without hats. Flatt and Scruggs seldom went without hats. However, if hats aren't your thing, you can omit them. Just make sure you have epic hair (a la Del McCoury, Ricky Skaggs, Larry Sparks, etc.)

Check out the side-by-side difference between the epic hat look and the epic hair look. If you can't be the Meyerband, you can always be the Johnson Mountain Boys.

Let's talk about ties. As far as which ones to wear, I would argue that Hot Rize is the clear winner.

Honorable mentions would be the following:

Basically anything these guys wear works.

And finally,

Sometimes I feel like we're the only group who still wears these bolo ties, but I could be wrong....

If you can't bring yourself to wear a suit and tie, you have the ever popular (and ever in style) Hawaiian shirt.

So there you have a by-no-means-exhaustive look at the official bluegrass dress code. There are so many different "looks" to a bluegrass band that it is a little difficult to precisely pin it down. 

Hopefully, you found this post to be enlightening. May your band always look like this:

And NEVER like this:

I told you John Duffey was eccentric. Now he's got Keith Whitley in on it, too.

Bluegrass Breakdown Ep. 4: The Cuckoo

We all know that sometimes, bluegrass lyrics make a little less than a good amount of sense. That's what I'm here for. I will explain the meaning of bluegrass songs verse by verse. Today we visit The Osborne Brothers' The Cuckoo.

Oh, the cuckoo she's a pretty bird
She warbles as she flies
But I never give her water
Till the fourth day of July.

Okay, starting with the chorus: Flying feathered friends you say? Nonsense. "The Cuckoo" is the name of the author's car. He named it that because it makes a delightful "Cuckoo" sound when it drives with a dry radiator. Also it's a 1973 Thunderbird, that's why he calls it a pretty bird. His thirsty bird is noisy, and it would not even start on a hot day like July 4th with an empty radiator. Also Thirsty Bird sounds like a band name. Someone make that happen, please.

It is often that I wonder
Why women love men
And I look back and I wonder
Why men are men.

The first two lines are answered by the next two lines. Why do women waste their time when men really love their precious 1973 Thunderbird that makes really awesome noises?  Because men will be men. Boom. I've just solved the biggest mystery in the history of mysteries.

Gonna build me a castle
On a mountain so high
So then I can see my true love
As she passes by.

Let me set the scene for you. *Phone Rings* "Hello?" "Hi, I'm just in the neighborhood and was gonna stop by and say 'hey'" *Click*. Now you have to run around the house and cram everything in The Closet because company is literally at your doorstep unexpectedly. Sound familiar? The only solution is to build a castle (because it's hard to cross the moat), build it on high ground so you can see people coming for miles and miles.

Jack of Diamonds, Jack of Diamonds
I know you of old
You have robbed my poor pockets
Of silver and the gold.

If you've seen this man, call the authorities immediately. Long blonde hair, no facial hair, blue eyes, pale complexion, last seen holding a sword, last seen wearing a red, yellow, and blue uniform. Alias: Two-Eyed Jack, Two-Faced Jack, and Harold. Wanted for Robbery, and public possession of swords.

There you have it! One of the most confusing bluegrass songs explained. I must admit I had to call my special committee in for a conference in which we spent countless restless hours sifting through lyricist theories like the Warble Fly being referenced as a metaphor for one who is basically a parasite, and the Jack of Diamonds verse being about gambling addictions. My special committee and I worked tirelessly to bring you this completely accurate interpretation. They all are on vacation now.

Is there another song that has confusing lyrics? Let me know! I can explain them to you on the next episode of the Bluegrass Breakdown!

Bluegrass Breakdown Ep. 3: White Dove

We all know that sometimes, bluegrass lyrics make a little less than a good amount of sense. That's what I'm here for. I will explain the meaning of bluegrass songs verse by verse. Today we visit White Dove.

In the deep rolling hills of old Virginia
There's a place that I love so well
Where I spent many days of my childhood
In the cabin where we loved to dwell

So now we've established the author's race: He's Virginian and he's totally okay with that.

   White dove will mourn in sorrow
   The willows will hang their heads
   I'll live my life in sorrow
   Since mother and daddy are dead

Birds you say? Nope. This is an unabashed plug for Dove White Beauty Bar! For softer smoother more radiant looking skin! The reason that it's mourning is because living life in sorrow means waking up in the morning and not feeling like taking a shower. You can imagine how the willow trees will wilt after a while. And it's all mother and daddy's fault!

We were all so happy there together
In our peaceful little mountain home
But the Savior needs angels up in heaven
Now they sing around the great white throne

Again, the author is totally cool with being Virginian. More power to him.
Now, those of you who read your Bible are thinking "this is impossible, no one can read my mind" and the next thing you're thinking is "but people don't become angels when they die! Psalm 8:5; 1 Cor. 6:3; etc.!" Precisely. The lyrics actually mean that there are so many people in Heaven, that the saints-to-angels ratio is lacking on the angels side. And now that I say this out loud, I doubt the Biblical accuracy of that statement also.....

As the years roll by I often wonder
If we will all be together someday
And each night as I wander through the graveyard
Darkness finds me as I kneel to pray

So after all this about how great Virginia is, the author goes and loses his way on a hike or playing PokemonGO or something. He wanders in circles and finds himself at the same graveyard night after night, which incidentally, was not a Pokestop. Wondering if he'll be with all of us again, he prays that he can find the road home. And then the song ends. Talk about a cliff hanger. Allow me to finish the story with my own two verses:

"It was bout a week ago I found the home place,
And I'm as happy as the landlord will allow,
Now that we are back together for the long haul,
I think I'll go take a shower now.

I will use my special White Dove soap Bar,
I'll be cleaner than I ever have been,
And the second I emerge you will notice,
I have smoother softer more radiant skin!"

There you go! A resolve to a cliff hanger song about a man and his love for Virginia! Dove is not a sponsor. Yet.

Is there another song that has confusing lyrics? Let me know! I can explain them to you on the next episode of the Bluegrass Breakdown!

Bluegrass Breakdown Ep. 2: Footprints in the Snow

We all know that sometimes, bluegrass lyrics make a little less than a good amount of sense. That's what I'm here for. I will explain the meaning of bluegrass songs verse by verse. Today we visit Footprints in the Snow.

Now some folks like the summertime when they can walk about
Strolling through the meadow green it's pleasant there's no doubt
But give me the wintertime when the snow is on the ground
For I found her when the snow was on the ground

This has been your daily weather report. In case you were wondering, there are two kinds of people: Pleasant summertime people, and the rest. Also, the author of this song wants you to forget about summer because it has nothing to do with the rest of the song. Psyche!

   I traced her little footprints in the snow
   I found her little footprints in the snow
   I bless that happy day when Nellie lost her way
   For I found her when the snow was on the ground

It takes a bit of doing, but I can gather that the "her" in the first verse is Nellie in the chorus. Notice the order of the verbs in this chorus: 1.) traced 2.) found. So the author actually made the footprints himself, left, came back later and found them. Also, Nellie has a horrific sense of direction, much to the author's amusement. Finally, the last line of the chorus has confused so many vocalists over the years. Was Nellie dead when he found her? Was this the first time he ever saw her and they later fell in love and got married? The following verses explain it better, so this is kinda like foreshadowing.

I dropped in to see her there was a big round moon
Her mother said she just stepped out but would be returning soon
I found her little footprints and I traced them through the snow
I found her when the snow was on the ground

Two key words here: dropped, and moon. The very fact that both are mentioned in the same breath says "falling through the roof" to me. Further, going off the first two lines of the song, it seems to me to be a poorly timed sky-dive proposal. As he drops from the plane, he can't help but notice the big round moon. When he lands on the living room floor (literally came down with the shingles), Nellie's mother was like "What? She ain't even in the house, bruh!" Oh and roll that foreshadowing thing about finding her again.

Now she's up in heaven she's with the angel band
I know I'm going to meet her in that promised land
But every time the snow falls it brings back memories
For I found her when the snow was on the ground

Now it all comes together. Now it makes sense. So remember that foreshadowing thing in every verse and chorus? Here's what it was leading up to. Once upon a time, the author met this girl, Nellie. All was hunky dory until he decided to do a skydiving proposal stunt. Poorly timed and barely planned, he makes the jump at night just after she already left the house (her intentions still unknown and never divulged). He goes outside to look for her, draws footprints in the snow for fun, miraculously finds her that way, but, alas, she's up in Heaven with the Angel Band. Must've died of frostbite, because the author emphasizes there being snow on the ground. And this didn't happen in the summertime, by the way.

And there you have it! That confusing Footprints in the Snow actually makes sense now! You're welcome, earth!

Is there another song that has confusing lyrics? Let me know! I can explain them to you on the next episode of the Bluegrass Breakdown!

Bluegrass Breakdown Ep. 1: Little Maggie

We all know that sometimes, bluegrass lyrics make a little less than a good amount of sense. That's what I'm here for. I will explain the meaning of bluegrass songs verse by verse. Today we visit Little Maggie.

Oh yonder stands little Maggie
With a dram glass in her hands
She's drinking away her troubles
She's a courting some other man

If you are under the impression that Little Maggie is an alcoholic, think again. "Dram" is a unit of measurement and the lyrics describe her as "drinking away her troubles", therefore, she is actually a pharmacist who has prescribed herself the perfect remedy for whatever it is that's ailing her. And she's also on eHarmony apparently.

Oh how can I ever stand it
Just to see them two blue eyes
A shining in the moonlight
Like two diamonds in the sky

The author of the song can't stand going to see his pharmacist at night. All you can see are her eyes, and obviously, no one can read the prescription in the dark. How can one stand that? Could be dangerous.

Last time I saw little Maggie
She was sitting on the banks of the sea
With a forty-four around her
And a banjo on her knee

By coincidence, the author ran into his pharmacist when they both were on vacation at the beach. Even on vacation, she is well prepared to defend her little timeshare of sand should she be held up by bandits. She's also very musically inclined. Cool!

Lay down your last gold dollar
Lay down your gold watch and chain
Little Maggie's gonna dance for daddy
Listen to that old banjo ring

Little Maggie is hosting the father-daughter dance fundraiser this year. Every little bit helps. And now it's time for the banjo break.

Pretty flowers were made for blooming
Pretty stars were made to shine
Pretty women were made for loving
Little Maggie was made for mine

This verse is probably most confusing, but I shall explain. Try to keep up:
Just as pretty flowers were made for blooming, etc. Little Maggie was born to be a pharmacist and she is probably the best this town has ever seen. Good job there, Maggie!

And that's about it! Now you can sing "Little Maggie" with the satisfaction of understanding the words! You're welcome.

Is there another song that has confusing lyrics? Let me know! I can explain them to you on the next episode of the Bluegrass Breakdown!

New Shoes, New Face, New Album

Everything is details. Small details. Seemingly insignificant details, until you realize the details make the whole difference.

Like buying shoes for example. I walked through that shoe store looking for just a normal pair of tennis shoes (so I can walk and stuff), and I could not find the men's section for the life of me...

...until I realized I was standing right by the men's section and I thought they were women's shoes the whole time. Sad.

Thankfully, I did leave that day with brand new manly tennis shoes, but I often wondered why anyone would want a pair of shoes with tacos on them.

Details, details.

I know it was just tacos, but wouldn't that look just a little silly with blue jeans and a belt buckle? Details make the difference.

I'm also growing a beard since I don't have any gigs for a few days. I'm growing it because I think it looks good. I'm shaving it before our next gig because no it doesn't.
I use the term "beard" quite loosely, by the way. Not much to go on.

Details, though. I need to look decent for gigs, right? Riiiight??

And don't worry, just because I have a new Instagram account (@therealmarkwimberley) doesn't mean I'll be posting selfies everyday. That's not what Instagram was invented for. I think?

The siblings and I are excited for our new album which will be released very very very very soon (How bout the 27th. Sound good?). This album has been in the works for four years, and it's about time we actually release it.
But our song list kept changing.
But our album title kept changing.
The recording studio sessions kept getting moved around.
The album cover needed designing.
The vocal mix here and the instrumental break there needed fixing somehow or another.
Metadata needed data-ing.

Details. Tiny, inconspicuous details.

Details, when overlooked, ruin the entire project.  What were we to do? We needed to release an album, and as we say in college, a project is never done, it's just due.

The point of this whole post was quite simple:
Oh wait, there was no point. I must've overlooked that detail...

4 Lessons I Learned On Tour

You know me, I always love traveling. If it were free, you'd never hear from me again...til I showed up at your house. Because it's free.

After several weeks of tromping through beautiful, dear, old Dixie, I bring our tour to a close next week with five nights at the OC Fair. I love my job.

Nothing is ever easy, and that includes doing the things I love. When life gives you lemons, pretend they're just oranges and eat them with a smile. Here are some nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from my most recent tour with my band:

1. Sit with your back to the wind around the campfire

The reason is simple: The smoke and ashes don't get in your eyes...

...as often.

2. Drive the California Highways with an even temper

We spent weeks in the south driving the highways without so much as one stupid driver, nor were there bumper-to-bumper cars crammed on the road. It was not long after we entered California again when the number of cars increased and the collective IQs diminished. That's all a part of traveling through the Golden State. Don't let it get to you, or you're gonna have a miserable trip.

3. Sometimes the thing tugging on your line ain't a fish

True story. 

4. If the hat fits, buy it (as long as it's not dirty)

It has been about four years since I've been able to fit in my performance hat. Frankly, I miss it. I've been meaning to buy a new one for years, but I have a head that's shaped like a de-horned gazelle (I guess?). Last week, I found one that actually fit on my noggin without hiding my ears or crushing my skull, but it was covered in dust and lint and the brim was bent. Needless to say, I'm still hat-less and will continue to perform so until further notice.

I hope these lessons will be of some help to you in the future. 

These lessons can also be metaphorical if you'd like. Think of something and get back to me.

Water water everywhere...

When you settle down for the night and find your air conditioning dripping a little bit of water, you would probably be a little bit concerned.

When it is one hour til showtime and your air conditioning is dripping a lot of water, you would probably be a lot concerned.

No worries, thought we, we'd just clean the coils and it would keep the condensation down to an absolute minimum! During sound check, I was informed the problem had been fixed!

Coming back from sound check to change into performance clothes, I was greeted with even more dripping water from the air conditioning. The problem was back. Whoever said a musician has a monotonous life?

After the show, I sat down and did some research on air conditioning units. One blocked draining hole later, our problem was finally solved. How did we celebrate? By turning the air conditioning up. It's so much better dry, believe me.

Now I sit in beautiful Texarkana about to go fishing....
Then the thunder rolls and lightning strikes...
And the radar shows a beautiful orange colored storm. I'm cool with that. I can dig it.

At least the air conditioning doesn't leak anymore! Bring on the rain!

The Curious Thing About Greenville

When you wake up in Arkansas to drive across the Mississippi River (via a bridge of course), there is usually no reason to suspect anything could possibly go wrong between now and the destination ahead.

I was wrong as usual. Oh, the things I go through because I love bluegrass so much!

The unmistakable sound of air escaping a tire interrupted the drone of the road, and we found ourselves with an almost-flat outside rear tire in Greenville Mississippi. Crawling along with hazards on, we made it to the nearest Walmart tire center, which apparently doesn't work on RV tires. No worries, they say, there a tire shop down the road a ways.....

...which was closed for good. But the ol GPS alerted us to another tire place....

...who wouldn't work on RVs.

We limped all over Greenville trying desperately to find someone to fix our problem. Just when we concluded that Greenville doesn't fix tires or RVs, we found Tire Town, USA (which is actually in Greenville, it's not its own town).

Tire Town USA found our problem: our tire's valve stem shook loose. Easy fix for them! Quicker than you can throw mechanic puns (This drill again, he looks two-tired, etc.) they were finished and we were back on the road to our next gig.

Thanks Tire Town USA!

Breaking News: One More Chair to be Added to Jam Circles

The age-old debate has seemingly been settled once and for all. Harmonicas are now an official bluegrass instrument according to the International Association of Bluegrass Music (IABM).

When asked to comment, president of the IABM, Paul Songmeister said "We have been trying to figure out for years what that sound was behind the Foggy Mountian Boys and the Osborne Brothers. We are proud to announce that we will be nominating harmonica pickers in this years' award show!"

Long time musician and festival goer, Ron Jambuster, was not as enthusiastic toward the association's decision. "If you can't play it with a pick, it ain't bluegrass!", he told our correspondent. When asked to clarify about the fiddle, which uses an ancient bowing technique, Mr. Jambuster turned his back and left, muttering something about Mac Wiseman's country career and Uncle Josh Graves.

Bands throughout many bluegrass festivals are beginning to dissolve over disagreements on when to put the harmonica solo in Little Maggie, arguing that the line "Listen to this ol banjo ring" should precede the banjo solo exclusively.

My special correspondent interviewed a real life harmonica picker at a local festival and he released this statement:
"I am so thrilled to finally have a job! Polka won't accept us, we're not cool in country music anymore, and we're so cliché in singer-songwriter music circles. We can't all be Bob Dylan, you know."

Bob Dylan has not released a comment as of yet.

Mr. Songmeister looks to the future: " By 2023, we hope to discover that percussive noise behind JD Crowe's band to give those instrumentalists their due as well! These are exciting times in music!"

The Story of the Day I (Almost) Died

It was a race against time and nature as the highway ahead ran straight into the storm cell we had seen coming for a long time. The radar showed nothing, and thus deceived us to think it was just a passing shower.

All I can say is, Noah should've had it so easy. The little north Texas town of Electra was about to see a storm that an urban California dude like me would call a "woolyburger", but a rural boy would probably just call it "big".

We had been on the road for three days, trying to make the town of Jefferson before the weekend. The rain came down with such vigor, that we could no longer see the highway before us. Just when we thought we would be drowned with many drowns, the wind kicked up. This wasn't a "Let's go fly a kite" wind, that would be too easy. The wind blew with more enthusiasm than a chubby kid eating ice cream. One by one, the trucks and cars began to pull over to the shoulder, hoping to wait the storm out. We pulled up the radar again as soon as the hail started because we were certain that this wasn't "nothing", even if we were in the open country. The radar showed us a lovely shade of pink right where we were pulled over. Aesthetics aside, pink was as high as the radar could possibly go, which we interpret to mean "hang on, it gets worse".

For what seemed like a month short of eternity, we sat on the side of the road, unable to see the car parked literally feet in front of us, and the hail fell faster. As the wind kicked up to 60mph (no joke), rocking our poor RV violently, we discovered the edges of our windows leaking, and rain coming through the carpet. I suddenly gained an appreciation for all the spiders I've sent down the toilet.

You're probably thinking "you were scared, weren't you Mark?" Guitar pickers never get scared.

I became a mandolin picker during the storm, though.

The weather report calmly assured us it would all be fine if we moved to the lowest floor of our building. I knew we shoulda bought that two story RV!

At long last the weather let up enough for us to see the road. Since we did not tip over or disintegrate, as we almost did, we took off down the road to outrun the rest of storm. Oh the things I go through for bluegrass, risking life and limb to play music once more. The next day found us in as few pieces as possible in sunny Jefferson, TX.

We were happy to be alive, happy to still be in TX, happy to have suffered only very minor damages, and wouldn't wish a storm like that on our enemy.

Except spiders. They still deserve that.

The Last of the First Generation: Dr. Ralph Stanley

My posts are usually brimming with light-hearted humor, but today, the bluegrass community feels the sting from the passing of Dr. Ralph Edmund Stanley. I had the distinct honor to have been Dr. Stanley's liaison at the 2015 Huck Finn Jubilee. That was by far one of the highlights of my life. My siblings and I love collecting old records, and one of my favorites is the Stanley Brothers' Columbia Sessions. There is no mistaking the unique banjo picking style and high tenor voice of Ralph Stanley along with the impeccable songwriting and vocals of his brother Carter.

Dr. Stanley will be missed, but never forgotten! This is my tribute to him.

After Bill Monroe set the music industry on fire with his unique brand of country music later known as bluegrass, another band took the music scene by storm. This band was led by two brothers from the Clinch Mountains in Virginia: Carter and Ralph Stanley. Their music became as iconic as the genre itself, with songs like "Molly and Tenbrooks", "Man of Constant Sorrow", "Clinch Mountain Backstep", "Angel Band" and so much more. So powerful was their sound, that they became the second bluegrass band ever to become members of the Grand Ole Opry.

Since that time, Dr. Ralph Stanley impacted so many young musicians' lives with his music. He won several Grammys, made it to the top of the country charts with his collaborations with Josh Turner and the "Down From the Mountain" tour/"O Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack, received several honorary doctorates, and discovered such talents as Ricky Skaggs, Keith Whitley, and Larry Sparks.

Bill Monroe became close to the Stanley Brothers and after the untimely death of Carter, Bill Monroe sang an acappella rendition of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" at his funeral. Then, placing his hand on Carter's casket, he said "We will meet again." 30 years later, at Bill Monroe's funeral, Ralph Stanley sang an acappella rendition of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" and turned to his casket and said "We will meet again.", just as Monroe did at Carter's funeral.


I looked over Jordan and what did i see?
Coming for to carry me home
There was a band of angels, coming after me
Coming for to carry me home

Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home

I'm sometimes up, and i'm sometimes down
Coming for to carry me home
But but i know my soul is heavenward bound
Coming for to carry me home

Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home

If you get there before I do
Coming for to carry me home
Tell all my friends that I'm coming too
Coming for to carry me home

Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home

RIP Dr. Ralph Edmund Stanley 1927-2016
We will meet again.

The Wheels on the Bus Come On and Off....

I wish I were making this up. The day before we left on a long road trip to play two gigs over the weekend, I was sitting in my living room with a refrigerator door in pieces spread out before me. Basically, I was trying to pull a 0.125" thick piece of plywood out from the plastic frame to no avail.

Our RV is old by RV standards. We've been traveling to gigs in it for years and years. It's seen a lot of wear and tear. Up until this week, we had duct tape keeping the refrigerator door from falling off. Our air conditioning would only blow out warm air (thus defeating the purpose of even having it) and the generator wouldn't start. And those are just the minor problems.

So, the week before we hit the road, I'm running all over the state trying to manipulate what is left of our RV like a reverse game of Jenga.

To make a long story short, our RV was not fixed. It was merely propped up together so that the wheels could roll and take us to our destination.

We've seen a lot of good times with that RV. So many happy memories. So many exciting adventures and excursions.

While we were at said gig, another nationally touring band parked their huge bus near the stage. It was beautiful. It even had their faces on it. Breath taking.

Just when you thought this post was about being content with the things you have, I'm announcing that I'm making plans to hijack their bus on the way back to Nashville if any of you want to help. We'll meet at the rendezvous with the recognition code "Prevost".

Must...Play...Faster!

If there's one thing to be said about banjo pickers, it's that they always raise the bar when it comes to tempo. It's easy enough, after all. They only need to move three fingers. With just a little effort, a banjo picker can hone their skill to the point of driving the rhythm guitar insane.
Oh hello! It's me again; your friendly neighborhood rhythm guitarist struggling to keep up.

I don't mean to be "that picker" who complains that the music is too fast, but I am sometimes. When those times come, I have to find ways to step up my game. It's time for:

Mark's tips of the trade! Episode: Train 45

Besides a stiff macchiato (as only the Italians can serve), there are not many ways to improve your quick picking abilities on the spot. When the banjo picker kicks off Train 45, you guitarists better be on time or die trying. (That is, figuratively die.) Let me introduce you to something I call "The Half-time strum" (I need a better name for it, clearly).
Step 1: Down stroke with your pick the bass note of a chord. Do it very quickly.
Step 2: Pivoting on the momentum of your down stroke, play the rest of the chord on the upstroke. Quickly.
Step 3: Repeat. Super super quickly.

When you first try it, it may sound somewhat empty. But when the timing of the song gets along in a hurry, you'll be glad you tried it. Watch people like Del McCoury, Jamie Dailey, Dustin Pyrtle and more use this technique on all the fast ones. If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for us, eh?


For those of you who completely zoned out through all of that since you aren't a guitar player, just know that I either completely revolutionized the way they play rhythm, or messed them up bad enough to ruin their music career for the rest of eternity.

Next time you see me in concert, pay close attention when we hit a fast song. I'll be in all sorts of pain trying to keep up. Just shout from the audience "Hey, Mark! Don't forget your Half-time strum!" If I hear you, I will be grateful to you for reminding me. Please don't request another fast song from the audience. I will die. Figuratively, not literally.

1000 views! Very first interactive post!

Such a joyous occasion! A few days ago, this blog reached 1000 page views! What's a dude like me to do? Celebrate of course!

So, to celebrate, I am going to compile a group of videos that YOU will make. I will list a list of prompts. You will choose any prompt and create a humorous video based off of the prompt. When you all turn them in, I will compile them to form a completely fictional account of how I started this blog. If you want to choose more than one prompt, be my guest. Don't tell me you don't make videos. I know you do. Even if you don't, do it. C'mon, it's a celebration!

Here they are:

Prompt 1: Four siblings are eating dinner and each have a very important announcement.
Prompt 2: Something is missing from the internet.
Prompt 3: Heavy Metal: The Bluegrass Musical.
Prompt 4: Really bad blog name ideas.
Prompt 5: Accidental hero returns home.


All of the above should include a character named Mark (hence the fictional account of how I started this blog) and can be however long or short as you want. Keep em funny, fictional, and clean. I can hardly wait to see what you all create.

Also, the famed blogger Kimberly Grace is just a few views shy of 2000. I wonder how she will celebrate?

Thanks a million for visiting with me on this site. Here's to more good times in the future! Y'all come back now, ya hear?