Bluegrass Breakdown Ep. 1: Little Maggie

We all know that sometimes, bluegrass lyrics make a little less than a good amount of sense. That's what I'm here for. I will explain the meaning of bluegrass songs verse by verse. Today we visit Little Maggie.

Oh yonder stands little Maggie
With a dram glass in her hands
She's drinking away her troubles
She's a courting some other man

If you are under the impression that Little Maggie is an alcoholic, think again. "Dram" is a unit of measurement and the lyrics describe her as "drinking away her troubles", therefore, she is actually a pharmacist who has prescribed herself the perfect remedy for whatever it is that's ailing her. And she's also on eHarmony apparently.

Oh how can I ever stand it
Just to see them two blue eyes
A shining in the moonlight
Like two diamonds in the sky

The author of the song can't stand going to see his pharmacist at night. All you can see are her eyes, and obviously, no one can read the prescription in the dark. How can one stand that? Could be dangerous.

Last time I saw little Maggie
She was sitting on the banks of the sea
With a forty-four around her
And a banjo on her knee

By coincidence, the author ran into his pharmacist when they both were on vacation at the beach. Even on vacation, she is well prepared to defend her little timeshare of sand should she be held up by bandits. She's also very musically inclined. Cool!

Lay down your last gold dollar
Lay down your gold watch and chain
Little Maggie's gonna dance for daddy
Listen to that old banjo ring

Little Maggie is hosting the father-daughter dance fundraiser this year. Every little bit helps. And now it's time for the banjo break.

Pretty flowers were made for blooming
Pretty stars were made to shine
Pretty women were made for loving
Little Maggie was made for mine

This verse is probably most confusing, but I shall explain. Try to keep up:
Just as pretty flowers were made for blooming, etc. Little Maggie was born to be a pharmacist and she is probably the best this town has ever seen. Good job there, Maggie!

And that's about it! Now you can sing "Little Maggie" with the satisfaction of understanding the words! You're welcome.

Is there another song that has confusing lyrics? Let me know! I can explain them to you on the next episode of the Bluegrass Breakdown!

Breaking News: One More Chair to be Added to Jam Circles

The age-old debate has seemingly been settled once and for all. Harmonicas are now an official bluegrass instrument according to the International Association of Bluegrass Music (IABM).

When asked to comment, president of the IABM, Paul Songmeister said "We have been trying to figure out for years what that sound was behind the Foggy Mountian Boys and the Osborne Brothers. We are proud to announce that we will be nominating harmonica pickers in this years' award show!"

Long time musician and festival goer, Ron Jambuster, was not as enthusiastic toward the association's decision. "If you can't play it with a pick, it ain't bluegrass!", he told our correspondent. When asked to clarify about the fiddle, which uses an ancient bowing technique, Mr. Jambuster turned his back and left, muttering something about Mac Wiseman's country career and Uncle Josh Graves.

Bands throughout many bluegrass festivals are beginning to dissolve over disagreements on when to put the harmonica solo in Little Maggie, arguing that the line "Listen to this ol banjo ring" should precede the banjo solo exclusively.

My special correspondent interviewed a real life harmonica picker at a local festival and he released this statement:
"I am so thrilled to finally have a job! Polka won't accept us, we're not cool in country music anymore, and we're so cliché in singer-songwriter music circles. We can't all be Bob Dylan, you know."

Bob Dylan has not released a comment as of yet.

Mr. Songmeister looks to the future: " By 2023, we hope to discover that percussive noise behind JD Crowe's band to give those instrumentalists their due as well! These are exciting times in music!"