Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Breaking News: One More Chair to be Added to Jam Circles

The age-old debate has seemingly been settled once and for all. Harmonicas are now an official bluegrass instrument according to the International Association of Bluegrass Music (IABM).

When asked to comment, president of the IABM, Paul Songmeister said "We have been trying to figure out for years what that sound was behind the Foggy Mountian Boys and the Osborne Brothers. We are proud to announce that we will be nominating harmonica pickers in this years' award show!"

Long time musician and festival goer, Ron Jambuster, was not as enthusiastic toward the association's decision. "If you can't play it with a pick, it ain't bluegrass!", he told our correspondent. When asked to clarify about the fiddle, which uses an ancient bowing technique, Mr. Jambuster turned his back and left, muttering something about Mac Wiseman's country career and Uncle Josh Graves.

Bands throughout many bluegrass festivals are beginning to dissolve over disagreements on when to put the harmonica solo in Little Maggie, arguing that the line "Listen to this ol banjo ring" should precede the banjo solo exclusively.

My special correspondent interviewed a real life harmonica picker at a local festival and he released this statement:
"I am so thrilled to finally have a job! Polka won't accept us, we're not cool in country music anymore, and we're so cliché in singer-songwriter music circles. We can't all be Bob Dylan, you know."

Bob Dylan has not released a comment as of yet.

Mr. Songmeister looks to the future: " By 2023, we hope to discover that percussive noise behind JD Crowe's band to give those instrumentalists their due as well! These are exciting times in music!"

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