I was a Teenage Guitar Player

I hate to keep beating a dead horse, but I just want to say how thankful I am that I was homeschooled.

"Oh no," you're probably groaning, "more propaganda about the joys of homeschooling."
Not this time.

Some people do, however, complain that homeschooling your children will prohibit them from learning how to talk with strangers and other members of the human race. How did I overcome this "problem"?

I was a musician.

"Ohhh suuure, Mark. That will totally help," you sarcastically think.

But seriously. From a relatively young age, I was standing in front of crowds of people and talking with them and singing to them. In fact, being in front of rank strangers since I was twelve taught me how to deal with people in general.

There was always that one person who asked embarrassing questions like "When are you gonna get married and leave the band?" Yessir, loaded questions were sure a lot of fun.  Especially because a twelve year old is not necessarily the most tactful as far as humor goes. My answer was usually "Thursday."
Then there were real live musicians who recognized that I wasn't the best of guitarists at the time (and some things never change) who would try to coach me to be more musically mature and say things like "I wouldn't kick it off so fast if I were you," to which I would think "Thankfully, you're not me."
Ah yes, my immature youth. Little did I realize how much dealing with the public would teach me as far as life goes.

Nowadays, I'm a grown up. (Stop laughing, I am grown up.) I've learned to answer the questions more seriously. Observe,

"When are you gonna get married and leave the band?"
--Do I have to do all that in that order?
"Why must you play all your songs so fast?"
--I'm trying to stay slim.
"How come your singing is so terrible?"
--You didn't like my Bob Dylan impression?

Let's face it, sometimes, people know better than you. Deal with it. Accept you're wrong. (Owie.)
Sometimes, people don't have a clue what they're talking about. Thank them for caring enough to try and help you anyway.

The bottom line is, people are very unpredictable. As a homeschooled professional musician, I do not fear. I have had experience with them all.

You might be a homeschooler if...

Those of us fortunate enough to have been homeschooled sure get a bad rap. Every day and from every walk of life we get these same, stale, old, lame one-liners:

You might be a homeschooler if:

Your social life is viewed to be one rung lower than that of a benedictine monk.
Directions to your prom was "Down the hall, through the kitchen on your left".
Strangers always asked you the question  "You do know the earth is round, right?"
To which you always answered "Yeah, I mathematically proved that when I was three years old!"
"Recess" was that time in the day when you stopped reading a book to finish adding on to your house.
Pajamas are an acceptable school uniform.
Your "Homies" literally live at your home and they're literally your siblings. That's your etymology of the word.
You got a microscope for Christmas...and you enjoyed using it.
Mom talking to herself is a Parent/Teacher conference. 
You have meal worms growing in a jar in your kitchen...on purpose.
For your teacher, everyday is bring-your-kid-to-work-day!
You can't watch a movie without pointing out every historical inaccuracy and continuity error.
School started every morning with breakfast and cleaning the dirty laundry off your desk.
"Sick day" meant doing schoolwork when you're sick.
You know these one-liners are for the most part true.


Blah dee blah!  So lame.  What's worse is that these show up on the Internet, Social Media, Greeting Cards, and people even tell you to your face!! I've decided that its time to redefine the homeschooled child with my own one-liners directed at public-school-kids!  Observe:

You might be a public school kid if:

You're not a homeschooler.

Alright. That's all I got so far.  Come to think of it, that may be all I need.  I don't want to make public school kids cry or anything.  Maybe y'all can help me think up a few more!