April Showers Bring Not Much to Talk About

Well, April Fool's Day has passed with little fanfare. Contrary to what I may have convinced a few people of, I am not moving out of state, nor did I buy a 3 month old goat named Reginald, although now I kinda wish I had (buy the goat, I mean).

I hope your April Fool's Day was how you envisioned it to be. Taping the light switches so they won't turn on and making prank calls to your stock broker are definitely the best ways to usher in a new month.

But now it is May, and it is the time to mature and leave the childish pranks behind (until next year, of course). In case you weren't aware, summer is just around the corner! To folks from my neck of the woods, summer means 90+ degree days and an endless stream of beach pictures invading your social media feeds. This would all be well and good if the California weather didn't decide that high winds might be a nice way to switch things up after the good dousing of rain and hail from a few months ago! The folks out in the eastern half of the country have also been experience a bit of rain so I hear. Fun times!

At long last, we at Wimberley Manor have finally got our garden planted! I'm looking forward to harvest time when I can indulge in some purple hull peas, okra, bell peppers, tomatoes, and corn on the cob! Another sign of summer, and just another way we move on from the childish (but ever hilarious when non-destructive) April Fool's pranks. Just as we will be cultivating nourishing vegetables, in our lives we will be cultivating not-vegetables.

Oh, before I forget, I'm going to be participating in an event next week that will be really different for me. I'll tell you about it in a later post. Stay tuned.

But "that" time of year has come, and I hear your questions. I feel your inquisitive thoughts. "Mark," you say, "will you be doing another tour this year?" My answer is super super simple: "I really hope so, it may or may not definitely or not definitely is maybe almost possible if we can sorta almost take mostly care of a few kinda small but humongous issues that will take little to a ton of time and a Mack Truck load of resources to fix so how does next month maybe or maybe not sound?"

Ok, so actually, I have no answer. If you remember my blogs from last year, you'll know how much difficulty we had getting on the road then. It's even harder this year!  But never fear! Remember my New Years Resolution? No? (Neither did I...I had to go back and check) The long and short of it was dream big to achieve big. So I'm just going to go into the month of May with that mindset regarding a tour.  I'll let you know if anything good happens.

One last thing before I close: We don't actually call our home Wimberley Manor. I just couldn't think of a really cool name that was accurate.....besides "that house I live in".

4 Lessons I Learned On Tour

You know me, I always love traveling. If it were free, you'd never hear from me again...til I showed up at your house. Because it's free.

After several weeks of tromping through beautiful, dear, old Dixie, I bring our tour to a close next week with five nights at the OC Fair. I love my job.

Nothing is ever easy, and that includes doing the things I love. When life gives you lemons, pretend they're just oranges and eat them with a smile. Here are some nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from my most recent tour with my band:

1. Sit with your back to the wind around the campfire

The reason is simple: The smoke and ashes don't get in your eyes...

...as often.

2. Drive the California Highways with an even temper

We spent weeks in the south driving the highways without so much as one stupid driver, nor were there bumper-to-bumper cars crammed on the road. It was not long after we entered California again when the number of cars increased and the collective IQs diminished. That's all a part of traveling through the Golden State. Don't let it get to you, or you're gonna have a miserable trip.

3. Sometimes the thing tugging on your line ain't a fish

True story. 

4. If the hat fits, buy it (as long as it's not dirty)

It has been about four years since I've been able to fit in my performance hat. Frankly, I miss it. I've been meaning to buy a new one for years, but I have a head that's shaped like a de-horned gazelle (I guess?). Last week, I found one that actually fit on my noggin without hiding my ears or crushing my skull, but it was covered in dust and lint and the brim was bent. Needless to say, I'm still hat-less and will continue to perform so until further notice.

I hope these lessons will be of some help to you in the future. 

These lessons can also be metaphorical if you'd like. Think of something and get back to me.

The Curious Thing About Greenville

When you wake up in Arkansas to drive across the Mississippi River (via a bridge of course), there is usually no reason to suspect anything could possibly go wrong between now and the destination ahead.

I was wrong as usual. Oh, the things I go through because I love bluegrass so much!

The unmistakable sound of air escaping a tire interrupted the drone of the road, and we found ourselves with an almost-flat outside rear tire in Greenville Mississippi. Crawling along with hazards on, we made it to the nearest Walmart tire center, which apparently doesn't work on RV tires. No worries, they say, there a tire shop down the road a ways.....

...which was closed for good. But the ol GPS alerted us to another tire place....

...who wouldn't work on RVs.

We limped all over Greenville trying desperately to find someone to fix our problem. Just when we concluded that Greenville doesn't fix tires or RVs, we found Tire Town, USA (which is actually in Greenville, it's not its own town).

Tire Town USA found our problem: our tire's valve stem shook loose. Easy fix for them! Quicker than you can throw mechanic puns (This drill again, he looks two-tired, etc.) they were finished and we were back on the road to our next gig.

Thanks Tire Town USA!

The Story of the Day I (Almost) Died

It was a race against time and nature as the highway ahead ran straight into the storm cell we had seen coming for a long time. The radar showed nothing, and thus deceived us to think it was just a passing shower.

All I can say is, Noah should've had it so easy. The little north Texas town of Electra was about to see a storm that an urban California dude like me would call a "woolyburger", but a rural boy would probably just call it "big".

We had been on the road for three days, trying to make the town of Jefferson before the weekend. The rain came down with such vigor, that we could no longer see the highway before us. Just when we thought we would be drowned with many drowns, the wind kicked up. This wasn't a "Let's go fly a kite" wind, that would be too easy. The wind blew with more enthusiasm than a chubby kid eating ice cream. One by one, the trucks and cars began to pull over to the shoulder, hoping to wait the storm out. We pulled up the radar again as soon as the hail started because we were certain that this wasn't "nothing", even if we were in the open country. The radar showed us a lovely shade of pink right where we were pulled over. Aesthetics aside, pink was as high as the radar could possibly go, which we interpret to mean "hang on, it gets worse".

For what seemed like a month short of eternity, we sat on the side of the road, unable to see the car parked literally feet in front of us, and the hail fell faster. As the wind kicked up to 60mph (no joke), rocking our poor RV violently, we discovered the edges of our windows leaking, and rain coming through the carpet. I suddenly gained an appreciation for all the spiders I've sent down the toilet.

You're probably thinking "you were scared, weren't you Mark?" Guitar pickers never get scared.

I became a mandolin picker during the storm, though.

The weather report calmly assured us it would all be fine if we moved to the lowest floor of our building. I knew we shoulda bought that two story RV!

At long last the weather let up enough for us to see the road. Since we did not tip over or disintegrate, as we almost did, we took off down the road to outrun the rest of storm. Oh the things I go through for bluegrass, risking life and limb to play music once more. The next day found us in as few pieces as possible in sunny Jefferson, TX.

We were happy to be alive, happy to still be in TX, happy to have suffered only very minor damages, and wouldn't wish a storm like that on our enemy.

Except spiders. They still deserve that.