April Showers Bring Not Much to Talk About

Well, April Fool's Day has passed with little fanfare. Contrary to what I may have convinced a few people of, I am not moving out of state, nor did I buy a 3 month old goat named Reginald, although now I kinda wish I had (buy the goat, I mean).

I hope your April Fool's Day was how you envisioned it to be. Taping the light switches so they won't turn on and making prank calls to your stock broker are definitely the best ways to usher in a new month.

But now it is May, and it is the time to mature and leave the childish pranks behind (until next year, of course). In case you weren't aware, summer is just around the corner! To folks from my neck of the woods, summer means 90+ degree days and an endless stream of beach pictures invading your social media feeds. This would all be well and good if the California weather didn't decide that high winds might be a nice way to switch things up after the good dousing of rain and hail from a few months ago! The folks out in the eastern half of the country have also been experience a bit of rain so I hear. Fun times!

At long last, we at Wimberley Manor have finally got our garden planted! I'm looking forward to harvest time when I can indulge in some purple hull peas, okra, bell peppers, tomatoes, and corn on the cob! Another sign of summer, and just another way we move on from the childish (but ever hilarious when non-destructive) April Fool's pranks. Just as we will be cultivating nourishing vegetables, in our lives we will be cultivating not-vegetables.

Oh, before I forget, I'm going to be participating in an event next week that will be really different for me. I'll tell you about it in a later post. Stay tuned.

But "that" time of year has come, and I hear your questions. I feel your inquisitive thoughts. "Mark," you say, "will you be doing another tour this year?" My answer is super super simple: "I really hope so, it may or may not definitely or not definitely is maybe almost possible if we can sorta almost take mostly care of a few kinda small but humongous issues that will take little to a ton of time and a Mack Truck load of resources to fix so how does next month maybe or maybe not sound?"

Ok, so actually, I have no answer. If you remember my blogs from last year, you'll know how much difficulty we had getting on the road then. It's even harder this year!  But never fear! Remember my New Years Resolution? No? (Neither did I...I had to go back and check) The long and short of it was dream big to achieve big. So I'm just going to go into the month of May with that mindset regarding a tour.  I'll let you know if anything good happens.

One last thing before I close: We don't actually call our home Wimberley Manor. I just couldn't think of a really cool name that was accurate.....besides "that house I live in".

The Over Achiever I Am

I am that guy.

The groceries make it to the car in one trip or I am not a real man.

And no, those little hand-held baskets don't count. Not even close.

It's just the way I am. Fine, go ahead and roll your eyes at me. I also have to strive for perfection and greatness. Is that such a crime? Of course not!

If the basket has to roll all the way to your car, you are doing it wrong.
For one thing, I know you have no intention of ever putting it away correctly and will leave it in that parking spot next to you that someone else wants. (Yeah, I'm looking at YOU.)
For another thing, you have to stand at your car and deal with the gaudy basket on wheels that roll and fight any traffic that is circling for parking spots. While fighting a basket that rolls. On wheels. Into traffic. Smart.

So maybe I'm making a big deal out of this, I suppose. But it's really not my fault. I'm not the one who says "Let's run inside for one gallon of milk," and ends up having to pass by the express lane after counting beyond 15 items in the cart.

Everything goes in one trip. Period.

If you can't stand the heat, don't be the guitar player!

Bluegrass is a very strenuous genre of music. Well, at least it is for the guitar player. Don't believe me?

Bass players only play on beat 1 and 3. If they are showing off, they'll walk the bass, playing one, two, three, four. Simple.

Mandolin players only play on beat 2 and 4. Then they take a nice solo with fancy tremolo and staccato, but then commence to only playing half the time. Simple.

Banjo players only move their three fingers (actually, two fingers and a thumb, says Earl Scruggs). No sweating or muscle soreness occurs as a result. Simple.

Fiddle players barely play unless they're taking a solo, or playing over the lead vocal (but if you're Curly Ray Cline, then you are always hard at work). Orange Blossom Special is the only time they might be involved in manual labor. Simple.

But the guitarist!

The poor soul doesn't get to pick and choose the beats he plays. Alas, guitarists play every stankin good beat. Ever ask a bluegrass guitarist to count to ten? It sounds like: "A one e and a two e and a..."

If it was just a matter of beats, there would be no real complaints (and no fun in blogging about it). The beat must have drive. Guitarists must pound out a bluegrass rhythm with every ounce of their soul! If they are lucky, they get to take a brief solo (called a "break" in bluegrass speak to make guitarists feel better), but then, back to that driving rhythm! Bluegrass guitarists everywhere sweat on stage. If there were a bluegrass festival in Antarctica, you can bet your Blue Chip Pick that the guitarist will be the only one with sweat pouring off their face!

That's why not everyone can be the guitar player. It takes a special (and heat-resistant) breed. Guitarists like me have to be tough. We have to be resilient. We also have to put ice water in our contract rider...

Pleasant Dreams....maybe.

Some say I'm a dreamer.  No really. Some actually do say that.  I have to agree with them, too.  I have ALWAYS had an overactive mind and aspirations as lofty as the forehead on a giraffe with glandular issues.  But, we all find out sooner or later that our dreams and reality are sometimes two very different things.

Basically, I don't ask for much.  My bucket list has three things on it:

1. Play the Opry
2. Play Carnegie Hall
3. Grow a beard

So far, nothing has been crossed off.  Very depressing, I know.  Do you have any idea how long I've waited for a beard?

Besides that, we as human beings tend to make lists for ourselves. Lists to remind us to do things, to not do things, and to make list of lists telling us to list things to do or not.  It gets exhausting!  I could try and offer sound advice like "Stop with the lists already" but then you would have to put that down on another list of reasons why you should get rid of your lists.  MAKE IT STOP!

Behold, I have come up with a revolutionary way to achieve your dreams, no matter how wild, utilizing minimal strategic lists and painful memorization!  Here are three basic plans:

Plan A: The Under-Over-Achiever

    Here's how this works:  Lump all your dreams into one generic achievement. This way, the interpretation of your goal can be ambiguous and you'll soon justify crossing everything off your list!  For example, my above bucket list could just consist of one item: "Grow up and get a job".  This is sure to be crossed off soon, and depending on how you look at it, I could cross it off right now!


Plan B: The Over-Under-Achiever

     This may seem a little bit like the previous plan, but it is totally worth giving a try anyway.  Break up all of your goals into teeny tiny little baby-step-goals.  You're bound to cross off the majority of your list as you write it!  Observe Plan B going into effect with my previous list: GOAL#1:  1.) Buy a guitar, 2.) Learn to play chords, 3.) Learn a song, 4.) Start a band, 5.) Work up a repertoire,  6.) Play gigs, 7.) Play the Opry. 8-14.) Repeat previous steps and play Carnegie Hall, 15.) Grow a beard
Did you see that?  I can cross off most everything but the last few items! Cyber high-five! (Now go explain why you just gave your computer screen a high five)


Plan C: The Finisher

     Open your mouth and scream "I'm finished!" and tear your list of goals into shreds.  Done. Forget goals. Can't you be satisfied with what you have?

This hopefully inspired you to do things you can be proud of and to keep your dreams happy ones.
I hope I was of some help to you.  Keep on keeping on!