10 Reasons to be Happy!

Let's face it: Life stinks sometimes.

Even the happiest of people get the blues every now and then. It happens. No one ever promised life would be fair. And it's not, believe me.
But even in the midst of life's trials, there indeed are reasons to smile. Here are just ten in order from least to greatest.

10. You're not a brontosaurus
This is definitely a reason to smile. Imagine how tough it would be not being a real dinosaur until someone figured out that you actually were. And think of how sad it would make you to see people eating chicken nuggets in the shape of your friends. It's probably not even real chicken.

9. You are not Force sensitive 
Just when you think Force powers would be good to have, imagine what a sneeze must do. The Force would suddenly intensify profusely for a split second, destroying everything within reach. What's that you say? Use the Force to not sneeze? C'mon, do you really have that presence of mind before a sneeze? No. That's not how the Force works, young padawan.

8.  You are not the hedges in my backyard
If you were, I would have the unpleasant duty of walking by you every so often and hacking your limbs off. Be glad you are not my hedges. If you are my hedges and you're reading this, I have a huge question...
How did you get the Wi-Fi password?

7. You are not a spider
If you were, no one would like you. And you'd have to eat bugs all the time. But no worries, I know for a fact you are not a spider, because spiders can't type, even if they can surf the web.

6. You are not me
Not just because of the outrageous pun you all rolled your eyes at. But seriously, I would never get along with myself if there were more than one of me. I annoy myself enough as it is.

5. You are not William Jackson Millingtonworth 
Because no one has ever heard of him and he actually doesn't exist.

4. You are you
And you do that so well. Keep doing that!

3. You can breathe
So take a moment real quick and do it. See? Felt good! Don't forget to do that periodically.

2. If there is a tomorrow, you have a second chance
So you messed up today? Only one thing you can do: Don't mess up tomorrow. Chances look fairly good that tomorrow will come. If it doesn't, you can say you tried today. Just remember not to let today be the day you wish yesterday was. Did I lose you there?

1. You woke up on the right side of the dirt
If you can read this without having to open your coffin, congratulations! You have the opportunity to do stuff. Seem trivial? Just like I said earlier, if tomorrow never comes, you have today. Make it a good one! Those of you who know me (which is probably all of you) know that I count this as a huge blessing. God took a look at me and all the stupid stuff I've done and still said "Yup, give him another shot at it."


So, if you read this entire post, you have no excuse to not be smiling now. If you're happy and you know it, shout "yahoo". If you just audibly shouted, you are my best friend. If you sang that song out loud, you are my best-est friend. If you're still not smiling, oh well. Better luck tomorrow.