Did I Just Join A New Band??

Short answer, no. But please keep reading. I put soooo much thought into my click bait title.

I explain it much better in my YouTube video, but the day starts with a Bass, ends with two very calloused fingers, and contains a reptile, a Disney Princess, and balloon popping competitions.

It would contain all this in much more detail had the selfie stick I was using been of any use. I also explain this in the video. Technology. What would I do with it?

Now, don't worry, I am not leaving the Wimberley Bluegrass Band. Never will. But it sure was a blast playing with these fine folks! Fun times!!

Gif me a Break.

I would like to point out once and for all that "gif" is pronounced with a hard g sound as in "Graphic Image File.

This may not seem like a huge deal to most, but I confess that when I hear someone pronounce it "jif", a little piece of my soul dies.

To make my point as clear as possible, and at the suggestion of some friends, I did what any other bluegrass musician would've done: I wrote a protest song.

As far as protest songs go, this is my first one. However, I hope that it possibly makes people think and I hope that it really shows the "jif" people the error of their ways.

Please share if you pronounce gif the correct way! The Internet community needs you. Badly.

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

For those of you who got past the ridiculous grammar in the title, I will disappoint you again by mentioning that this post has nothing to do with the Rolling Stones.

But life never works exactly how we want it.  The unsinkable still sinks. The unbreakable still breaks.  The unthinkable still...thinks. My voice still breaks when I sing...

This past week I've been recruiting for my capstone research project, but everyone I talk to does not meet the qualifications to participate. C'mon!

Last month I changed all the strings on my guitar, but something didn't set right on the .035 string so it couldn't keep it's tune and broke five minutes after I took it out of the package. Why me?

The other day I had a large iced coffee, but the barista served it with a medium straw so that the more I kept drinking, the farther my nose sank into the whipped cream. Really, people?

Just when life's plans start shaping up, something goes wrong. Curse you, Murphy and your stupid law!

But life goes on. I guess I can't complain. Young bucks like me can find a lot of things to complain about, but the reality is the majority of our complaints are little ones. In the midst of a life bent on success, things will go wrong even if you try and you try and you try and you try...

Nobody promised life would be easy. Nobody promised life would be fair. It's up to us to stop complaining, get some whipped cream on our noses and make the most of it.

If you can't stand the heat, don't be the guitar player!

Bluegrass is a very strenuous genre of music. Well, at least it is for the guitar player. Don't believe me?

Bass players only play on beat 1 and 3. If they are showing off, they'll walk the bass, playing one, two, three, four. Simple.

Mandolin players only play on beat 2 and 4. Then they take a nice solo with fancy tremolo and staccato, but then commence to only playing half the time. Simple.

Banjo players only move their three fingers (actually, two fingers and a thumb, says Earl Scruggs). No sweating or muscle soreness occurs as a result. Simple.

Fiddle players barely play unless they're taking a solo, or playing over the lead vocal (but if you're Curly Ray Cline, then you are always hard at work). Orange Blossom Special is the only time they might be involved in manual labor. Simple.

But the guitarist!

The poor soul doesn't get to pick and choose the beats he plays. Alas, guitarists play every stankin good beat. Ever ask a bluegrass guitarist to count to ten? It sounds like: "A one e and a two e and a..."

If it was just a matter of beats, there would be no real complaints (and no fun in blogging about it). The beat must have drive. Guitarists must pound out a bluegrass rhythm with every ounce of their soul! If they are lucky, they get to take a brief solo (called a "break" in bluegrass speak to make guitarists feel better), but then, back to that driving rhythm! Bluegrass guitarists everywhere sweat on stage. If there were a bluegrass festival in Antarctica, you can bet your Blue Chip Pick that the guitarist will be the only one with sweat pouring off their face!

That's why not everyone can be the guitar player. It takes a special (and heat-resistant) breed. Guitarists like me have to be tough. We have to be resilient. We also have to put ice water in our contract rider...

Wire, Wood, and Blood

The Father of Bluegrass was once asked how to be really good when playing the mandolin.  Bill Monroe's legendary response was "Son, you got to whup it like a mule."  Bluegrassers all over planet earth (and even some in outer space) know how to get that powerful bluegrass sound by aggressively picking their instrument with oomph.

Inevitably, the inevitable happens (redundant, I know).  One of those tight, metallic strings gives in to the strain of harsh strumming.  The sharp and pointy end whips through the air either narrowly missing your face, or leaving a tender remembrance of its passing.  If it does miss your face, it might spring closely toward your hand and stick in your fingers.  Yeah, the life of a bluegrass musician can be dangerous for sure!

Being quite an aggressive picker myself, the aforementioned scenario is a familiar one to me. My guitar has seen its fair share of blood splatters all over its immaculate wooden face.  If I had a nickel for every time I had to change a string between songs, I could afford a second guitar to stand on stage with me (so I wouldn't have to change between songs anymore)!  But I'm kind of glad I don't.  It would take away from the adventure of dodging loose (and bloodthirsty) wires on stage.

So take note, young bluegrass pickers (and you old ones, too)!  The illustrious profession of bluegrass musician is not for the faint of heart! Be prepared to change your strings during the chorus of a song.


Keep your cleaning rag, wire cutters and band-aids always at hand!