8 Perfect Bluegrass Valentine's Day Songs

If Californians aren't confused enough by the tremendous amounts of water falling from the sky, they were all but mortified a few weeks ago when little balls of ice took the water drops' place. Since I am now convinced the World is ending, I feel like there's no need for a Valentine's Day themed post...


...but you know me better than that! I have just enough time to squeeze it in while I build an Ark.


All you bluegrass lovers out there are definitely stressing out right now about finding a nice bluegrass song to sing to your significant other that doesn't include cheating behind anyone's back, poisoning a little glass of wine, loving and losing, stabbing anyone through the heart or shooting people to watch them die. A daunting task indeed, but not impossible, you'll find! Allow me to present 8 of the All-Time-Greatest bluegrass Valentines Day songs. Now let me just state that this list will only be good for people who actually have a Valentine. All of us single people can go listen to "Ain't Nobody Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone". We don't need a list.

Oh! I have a fun idea: I'll present my picks in countdown fashion! What fun.

8.  If My Nose Was Running Money - Mike Snider

Seriously, though. Did you think I would make a list like this without including this ol bluegrass classic? It made the list because the lyrics paint a picture of devotion and sacrifice which can only be described as...vivid. While wishing to have all sorts of wealth dripping from your face to give your loved one is definitely "one booger of a problem", it is more importantly a cheerful thought to know that one sneeze could mean buying a John Deere tractor and a new Mercedes. That is if their nose was running money...but it's snot. Definitely not a song for the germophobe.

7. John and Mary - IIIrd Tyme Out

I've said it before, so I'll say it again: I've said this before. Also, Russell Moore could sing an Ikea instruction manual and win a Grammy for it. That's why this song made the list: Russell's flawless and sincere delivery makes the lyrics seem so much more heartfelt and so much more, well, sincere. You gotta admit, this song explains marriage a thousand times better than "that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream, and love, true love, will follow you forever..." (and if you've never seen that movie, my entire joke went over your head and I'm sorry). Thus, the story of John and Mary made the list hands down. Also, killer mandola intro. Just saying.

6. Pretty Little Miss In the Garden - Stanley Brothers

Need we look any farther for a more adorable love story? Carter and Ralph deliver a timeless tale of a girl who loves her beau so much, that she hopes he's happy even "if he's drownded" (and I've never seen a happily drownded man before). She even goes so far as to say that if he finds someone else, she'll love the girl that marries him. That's almost grounds for a restraining order, to be honest. Of course, by the end of the song (SPOILER ALERT!!!!) she realizes this nosy guy asking all the questions is actually her beloved and then he gives her precisely three kisses. How she didn't realize this before, I don't guess I'll ever know, but as the young kids these days say at the end of their fairy-tales, they lived happily ever after. If the story don't get ya, George Shuffler's cross picking will.

5. Til the End of the World Rolls Round - Flatt and Scruggs

Obviously, a song that sets a time limit on love is usually overlooked for lists such as these, but since the sun will keep coming up and down and the big blue sky ain't coming down to the ground anytime soon, I decided this one could be the exception to the rule.

4. Storms are On The Ocean - The Three Pickers feat. Alison Krauss

This is one of those songs I've been hearing for such a long time. By the Carter Family first, and then by almost everybody else. The Three Pickers are my favorite version. This song goes hand-in-hand with the previous one on my list, because it too lists the world losing its motion as the time when the love will fail. That and if she drops it first. But regardless of that, it still represents an undying devotion that will sure make you feel all sappy and sugary on the inside. The heavens may cease to be if I should omit this song from my list.

3. Walk Through This World with Me - The Seldom Scene

Just the title alone could suffice to have its own spot on this list. But when the inimitable John Duffey sings it with the tight harmony of Seldom Scene, the whole song comes to life. So why did this song make the list? Go listen to it. Seriously. I'll wait.

2. My Heart Is Yours - Doyle Lawson and Quicksilver

It's no wonder that this song was chosen as the title track of his 1990 release. When you got a lineup like Russell Moore, Jim Mills, Ray Deaton, and Mike Hartgrove, how can anything you record go wrong? With words like "and til the end of time, my heart is yours", you couldn't expect anything more perfect to include on this list. If you're gonna choose a Valentines day bluegrass song, it'd better use phrases like "you're all I need" or "I thank the Lord up above that you're loving me, such a lucky break!" If you Google search the word "romantic", this song will automatically open in a new tab. Try it! Also, if you Google search "gullible" your picture will show up....

1. My Only Love - Dailey & Vincent

This one topped my list. A Statler Brothers original, Dailey & Vincent and the boys gave it a bluegrass spin so that it could be included in this list.  How thoughtful of them. At the opening line "You and I were meant for one another", you know this is going to be as lovey-dovey as it gets. The harmony, lyrics, and over all delivery makes this my top pick for the #1 bluegrass Valentines Day song.


There you have it!  Obviously, this list comes with the disclaimer that it is by no means exhaustive. But I think it'll get you through this holiday with flying colors. Which songs did I leave out? Comment below and let me know!

Bluegrass Breakdown Ep. 4: The Cuckoo

We all know that sometimes, bluegrass lyrics make a little less than a good amount of sense. That's what I'm here for. I will explain the meaning of bluegrass songs verse by verse. Today we visit The Osborne Brothers' The Cuckoo.

Oh, the cuckoo she's a pretty bird
She warbles as she flies
But I never give her water
Till the fourth day of July.

Okay, starting with the chorus: Flying feathered friends you say? Nonsense. "The Cuckoo" is the name of the author's car. He named it that because it makes a delightful "Cuckoo" sound when it drives with a dry radiator. Also it's a 1973 Thunderbird, that's why he calls it a pretty bird. His thirsty bird is noisy, and it would not even start on a hot day like July 4th with an empty radiator. Also Thirsty Bird sounds like a band name. Someone make that happen, please.

It is often that I wonder
Why women love men
And I look back and I wonder
Why men are men.

The first two lines are answered by the next two lines. Why do women waste their time when men really love their precious 1973 Thunderbird that makes really awesome noises?  Because men will be men. Boom. I've just solved the biggest mystery in the history of mysteries.

Gonna build me a castle
On a mountain so high
So then I can see my true love
As she passes by.

Let me set the scene for you. *Phone Rings* "Hello?" "Hi, I'm just in the neighborhood and was gonna stop by and say 'hey'" *Click*. Now you have to run around the house and cram everything in The Closet because company is literally at your doorstep unexpectedly. Sound familiar? The only solution is to build a castle (because it's hard to cross the moat), build it on high ground so you can see people coming for miles and miles.

Jack of Diamonds, Jack of Diamonds
I know you of old
You have robbed my poor pockets
Of silver and the gold.

If you've seen this man, call the authorities immediately. Long blonde hair, no facial hair, blue eyes, pale complexion, last seen holding a sword, last seen wearing a red, yellow, and blue uniform. Alias: Two-Eyed Jack, Two-Faced Jack, and Harold. Wanted for Robbery, and public possession of swords.

There you have it! One of the most confusing bluegrass songs explained. I must admit I had to call my special committee in for a conference in which we spent countless restless hours sifting through lyricist theories like the Warble Fly being referenced as a metaphor for one who is basically a parasite, and the Jack of Diamonds verse being about gambling addictions. My special committee and I worked tirelessly to bring you this completely accurate interpretation. They all are on vacation now.

Is there another song that has confusing lyrics? Let me know! I can explain them to you on the next episode of the Bluegrass Breakdown!

When I First Met You Down on Lover's Lane...

This post is actually a response post. A blogging friend of mine, Sarah Liz, invited all the blogging dudes she knows to give a list of the top five things to look for in a girl since she did one the other way around. Fair enough.

She knows as well as anybody else that bluegrass song writers have been trying to settle on a top five since the Monroe Brothers recorded their RCA Victor album in 1936.  But I suppose everyone is different in their opinions. Here are my top five:

5. Wears muddy boots.  

"Wow, Mark," you must be thinking, "way to take it to a very shallow level." Maybe you don't understand the significance of muddy boots. An adventurous girl would never wear sandals to go rock hopping in a creek bed, nor would she wear running shoes to go hiking on a mountain. "But, Mark," you complain again, "doesn't having messy boots indicate that she's sloppy and untidy?"  In the first place, I said "muddy" not "messy" and besides,  even if she cleaned her boots regularly, it wouldn't matter if they only got muddy again shortly thereafter. If a girl is adventurous enough to get her boots muddy, she understands how to prepare for the unpredictable and be able to roll with the punches.

4. A Multi-Instrumentalist. 

A girl with the patience to learn how to play several instruments and be able to create music fluidly and interchangeably with each one has the patience to deal with a guy like me, and to properly raise a family. Learning your first instrument is hard. Being able to stay focused on it to master it requires patience. Learning a second, third, fourth, bazillionth instrument builds on your patience. Being married is hard (so I'm told). Marriages often fail when either party loses patience with the other.

3.Great fishing stories. 

"Okay, Mark," you interrupt again, "what's this one for? Memory?"  Let me tell you about fishing, since you obviously don't get my drift here. When you throw your bait into the water, your brain begins to come up with hundreds of reasons why you will not catch anything. Maybe you cast your rod the wrong way, the sun is in your eyes, this isn't "the spot", your bait probably fell off once it hit the water, a turtle stole your hook, etc. But if you don't commit, you will never catch anything. You need to be stronger than what tries to stop you. A girl who has epic fishing stories knows the commitment it takes and the overall strength one must posses to actually be successful and reel in "the big one". In this fast-moving society, young people have trouble sitting in one spot and waiting for something uncertain to happen. Those with great fishing stories do not have this problem.

2. Sings in harmony. 

Many people just want someone to talk to. Sad fact, they get themselves a boyfriend/girlfriend for solely that purpose. True, I may look for a girl who listens to me, but she also should not hesitate to add her own voice. Harmonizers are some of the most well respected in the bluegrass industry. They can blend with literally anyone (maybe with the exception of Bob Dylan, but that's a different post) that needs backing up. A girl who can harmonize knows how to listen, but is not afraid to contribute, to add, to blend her perspective.

1.Can sing the last verse to "Awake My Soul And With the Sun".

"Whoa now, Mark! Aren't we getting a little too specific, here?!?" Thanks for another interruption, again. If a girl can sing the last verse to this specific hymn, I know she's been spending a lot of time in church. When you spend a lot of time in church, you tend to go through the hymnals (please tell me I'm not the only one??). Not only are the lyrics to this song deep, the last verse is where the Doxology comes from. A girl who knows this and can sing this clearly puts God first in her life before all else. 

Now first off, this post by no means indicates that if you posses these allegorical qualities that we're going to hit it off well and end up on the same burial plot when our grandchildren lay us to rest. This is not the magical checklist that makes me fall in love with you. Sorry.

But now let me address the men reading this.

It seems we are especially zealous about making "checklists". It seems we always hang out and say things like:

"Hey bruh, what do you want in a girl?"
"Oh, I'm glad you asked, broham. Here's my official checklist accompanied by a diagram to scale."

Maybe we need to think a little more critically about this whole situation. Have you ever thought past that and wondered what kind of husband you want to be? "Super macho" is a given, I mean besides that. If I expect the future Mrs. to be a good listener, shouldn't I also be a good listener? If I expect the future Mrs. to be patient, should I also put forth the same effort? Should I exhibit the same attitude of strength and commitment? Should I be trying to move closer to God to let Him direct my paths? I think we can agree the answer is yes to all of the above. After all, the future Mrs. and I are going to be living together until death do us part, if not longer.
Let me extend this challenge to all my bros who are single:
Learn to harmonize, don't be afraid to get your boots muddy, and don't leave God when you finally find a girl.